Uncle Scratch's Gospel Revival

God the Father may be a bitter old teetotaler, but your pal and mine, Jesus the Risen Savior, has always been a big fan of cheap beer. Uncle Scratch's Gospel Revival is a CB-radio-tootin', hair-greasin', good-timey duo of guitar and drums. These Parma boys, Brother Ed and Brother Ant, preach the good news about the old ale to the rockin' flock, employing a guitar that sounds like it was exhumed from Hank Williams' coffin and drums sometimes made of cardboard.

Uncle Scratch recently provided the soundtrack to The Horror Convention Massacre, a fine piece of exploito-trash cinema made right here in Northeast Ohio. The flick, stuffed full of the area's best blood 'n' boobs, shows the band getting killed and comes with its own filmmaker-approved drinking game. Says director and Old School Sinema president Joe Ostrica, "Whenever somebody gets naked, take a drink. Whenever somebody gets killed, take a drink. Whenever somebody says the word 'freak,' take a drink. And whenever somebody naked gets killed, take two drinks. If you keep up, you'll definitely have a great buzz by the end of the film." Just in time, too: A screening of Horror Convention Massacre precedes Uncle Scratch's Beachland performance.