A New Loophole in State Law: Gambling for Toilet Paper

It seemed as if Governor Ted Strickland had delivered the death blow to shady Ohio gaming parlors a couple weeks ago when he signed a bill outlawing so-called “skill games” – machines like Tic-Tac-Fruit, which are sort of like slot machines, but tweaked to rip you off even more. The games started popping up in bars and strip-mall casinos back in 2003, when legislators passed a law opening a massive hole in the state’s gambling statute. But now it seems that gaming parlors are finding loopholes in the law designed to fix the loopholes. The Columbus Dispatch reported on Sunday that one parlor in Circleville is paying out winnings in coffee grounds. One woman quoted in the story walked out carrying 32 pounds of coffee. Other parlors around the state are paying out with even more unusual household staples, like bottled water and even toilet paper! To fix the law, Ohio legislators are rumored to be working on a new provision, requiring jackpot winners be paid in lifetime supplies of contraceptives. – Jared Klaus