Hurrah! Cleveland Jumps 2 Spots in Pollution Standings!

The American Lung Association has confirmed Clevelanders worst suspicions: It’s really polluted here. You know how the area around downtown sometimes smells like a party at Marion Barry’s house? Well, that’s not good for you. The 2007 air pollution rankings came out today, officially naming Cleveland the 6th most polluted city in America, behind such big names as Detroit, Pittsburgh, and Los Angeles, the number one dirtiest city. (Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson immediately launched a formal protest, contending that if ground pollution was factored in, we would have kicked L.A.’s ass.) The new ranking mean we’ve climbed two spots on the list since 2005, when we were only the 8th scariest city. Inside sources say the jump in the standings was largely due to the time County Recorder Pat O’Malley accidentally breathed on an air quality monitor. Other Ohio cities making the list were Cincinnati, at number 8, and Canton, at number 19 – only one spot behind New York City. Luckily, Canton’s fairly easy to avoid -- unless you’re going to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, buying drugs, or dumping a body. – Jared Klaus