Abstinence Groupies Plead: "Give us our money back!"

Most people living in this century realize that, as birth-control methods go, ordering your kids to not have sex is about as effective as urging freshly inseminated sperm to "Turn around! No! The other way!" But the good folks at the National Abstinence Education Association just haven’t caught on yet. For years, groups like theirs have spent barrels of state and federal money on abstinence-only education, despite the fact that no one’s sure such programs actually, um, work [“Keep Out!” November 3, 2004]. But last summer, Ohio Governor Ted Strickland shut down the no-sex party, striking from the state budget a requirement that taxpayer sex-ed money be spent on the chastity-only programs. Now, the Plain Dealer reports that a National Abstinence group is lobbying to get the money restored. "We are compelled to make Ohio citizens and parents aware of the tragic decision Gov. Strickland made to eliminate a clear abstinence message for teens,” said Valerie Huber, the group’s executive director. Translation: Throw us some dough, people. Soon. Or you will have some very poor, very frustrated virgins to deal with. -- Lisa Rab