Its Team May be Good, but San Antonio Sucks

As the city gears up for the finals confrontation between San Antonio and the Cavs, its been a longstanding tradition for newspaper columnists to rip on the opposing team’s city. Gaylon Krizak of the San Antonio Express-News continues it with a backhanded column touting all the ways he could rip on Cleveland but won’t. For those wanting retribution, fret not. Let me just say it clearly and without hesitation: San Antonio sucks. I should know. I spent an entire summer out there interning for the same paper Krizak writes for. I have no beef with the Express-News. I think it’s a phenomenal paper. It’s the city I grew to dislike. San Antonio has an identity crisis, with strip clubs and churches alternating between blocks. Strip malls and fast food restaurants fill the main drags outside of downtown. And the downtown is littered with cheesy clubs catering to tourists and the military folks looking to get drunk and get laid. Once, two of my college friends came out to visit because they’d never been to Texas before. I dropped them off downtown on a Friday morning because I had work. I gave them a map and pointed them to the Alamo. I told them how to access the River Walk, the area’s third biggest tourist draw (second is an outlet mall). I got a phone call two hours later. They were at a mall. They had an entire day to explore San Antonio, and after 10 minutes of wandering the Alamo and realizing there wasn’t much more to it than a bunch of walls and some memories, they found sanctuary in an indoor shopping bonanza. Don’t get me wrong. The city isn’t entirely bad. I’ve actually lived in worse (Joliet, Illinois). But it’s like living in a generic suburb, except it’s hot as hell and your only food option is Tex Mex and super-sized burgers. I’ll take Cleveland. – T.K. Kim