Madonna Carries the Torch For Judaism, Despite Pleas From Actual Jewish People

For Madonna, Judaism is the new skanky.
Starting at sundown tonight, in the name of atonement, Jews around the world will make the ultimate sacrifice: They won’t eat or drink anything at all for 24 hours. (Horrifying, we know). But at least they’ll be sharing hunger pains with the likes of Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, and Madonna! Mind you, none of these stars are actually Jewish. But this inconvenient detail didn't stop the pop legend (Roman Catholic by birth) from announcing to Israeli President Shimon Peres on a recent trip to Israel that she was an “ambassador for Judaism.” According to her publicist, Madonna plans to spend the weekend atoning for the fact that she's completely insane. -- Rebecca Meiser