It's a simple process, right? Find tree, chop down tree, install tree, decorate tree. Bingo, you have yourself the centerpiece of your Christmas.
That process isn't going so swimmingly in Akron this year, however, as it tries to corral a tree. The Rubber City has tried twice to complete the simple task, and has twice failed.
The first time, the tree split and became unusable.
The second try, the next day, went even more awry. A city employee's heel was injured when the crane being used to transport the just-cut blue spruce tipped over. The mishap brought down power lines.
It also destroyed the donated tree, which city employees ground into mulch.
Akron will now attempt, for the third time, to secure itself a tree for the holiday season. With their luck, it'll fall off the back of a truck and directly into a wood chipper causing a woody mess that will cause a traffic jam. Book it. That tree's not getting to Lock 3.
Over/under four failed tries before they say, "Screw it, go buy a fake tree."