Dad Threatens to Burn, Cut Head Off Family Snake

Were scared of snakes, so here are some really cute cats.
  • We're scared of snakes, so here are some really cute cats.

Today's installment of Good Parenting comes from the Sandusky Register, who reports that husband and father Frank Erkman got all animal-abuse-y with the family snake.

An unspecified argument occurred at the Erkman household this week, but pops took the vanilla family disagreement to a new level. Cops say his wife Penny called them after Frank held the family's pet snake over the stove, threatening to torch the reptile.

He wasn't done with the threats, sadly. Apparently sensing that the threat of giving the snake a pire funeral wasn't getting his message through, he grabbed a knife and told his kids he would decapitate their pet. Nice. You better believe those kids are going to clean their rooms this week. And mow the lawn. And give dad a foot massage.

When cops arrived, the snake was found healthy, happy, and with head intact in its cage. Dad was charged with disorderly conduct.