Goodbye Cuyahoga County Corruption, It's Been Fun, and We're Going to Miss You

Goodnight, sweet princes.
  • Goodnight, sweet princes.

Man, today you feel that lump in your gut? We sure do. It's like we're at the end of something, unmarked on the calendar but palpable nonetheless. We've been trying to hunt down the feeling all day, and it took awhile for the realization to float to the surface. Nope, it's got nothing to do with a new casino or Cavs players you can actually get behind or even – and it seems strange just typing it out – the idea Cleveland is becoming a “cool” locale for young folk, a possible Brooklyn baby-stepping into hipness. That's all in the air, but what's really gently poking our nerves today is the idea that the county corruption scandal is finally in the rearview mirror, getting smaller and smaller.

We know, we know, a federal grand jury slapped former Cuyahoga County nabob Jimmy Dimora with a guilty verdict months ago; Frank Russo is still parading through area wine bars. But today's decision by the court to release sensitive material related to the corruption investigation shows the Feds are going through the closing motions of the circus that started with a bang one morning in 2008.

And you know what? We're a little bummed. Today, seeing Dimora in Vegas or the pictures of Jimmy's municipal employee side beef, that old smile settled in, the good times started following back. The zebra-striped shirt, the Tiki hut, the flat screens, “Fucking you is a beautiful thing,” J. Kevin Kelley, the Karl Rove-Plain Dealer conspiracy, the Stonebridge slam pad, anti-tapping devices, free dinners, hookers in Vegas, and so much, much more.

After being spoon fed this kind of ridiculousness on a daily basis, it's going to be hard to reset at the new normal. The county seems to be in capable hands; the entire town is glowing with upswing. We're probably not going to see morally-twisted, greed-tweaked public officials dragging themselves through the shitpile of reprehensible behavior for at least an election cycle or two.

And what are we going to do? What's a new day without a tiki hut joke to set the mood?