Portable Meth Lab Found Near Elementary School in Wadsworth

Medina County Drug Task Force officers found what appeared to be a portable meth lab outside an elementary school in Wadsworth yesterday. It was a fairly ramshackle rig, which isn't a huge surprise: A black garbage bag was filled with chemicals used in cooking crystal and a two-liter pop bottle essentially meant for the actual cooking process.

Drug Task Force Director Gary Hubbard told the Medina Gazette that the bottle method works because cookers can kick-start the chemical process and later retrieve the goods in some sort of secure spot. An elementary school is a terrible idea, though. But, hey, it's meth.

Hubbard and his colleagues have made no arrests, but they're homing in on suspects. The charges would include second- and third-degree felonies. There were no children near the pop-bottle lab at the time of discovery, which keeps the charges from escalating to first-degree level.

This is the third lab found in Medina County, which is known more for its blend of bucolic hillsides and yuppie sprawl than it is for amateurish drug manufacturing. Hubbard's humble brag that he offers to the Gazette ranks as one of the most sly disses ever recorded in local journalism, and we love him for that:

Medina County has had very few meth labs despite sharing a border with Summit County, which regularly leads the state in meth labs found.

Next time, the would-be cookers might want to consider Walter White's wheels.

Or, you know, a job.