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A GRAIN OF SALT 

Angelina Jolie adds another shot of kick-ass

When Salt opens on Friday, Angelina Jolie will add another tough gal to her cast of kick-ass characters. She plays Evelyn Salt, a CIA agent who's accused of being a Russian spy. The only way she can prove her innocence is by hiding out ... and kicking ass. But how would Evelyn fare in cage battles against some of Jolie's other bullet-dodging, martial-arts-wielding face-breakers? Let's find out.

The match-up: Evelyn Salt vs.

Lara Craft: Tomb Raider

This 2001 movie made Jolie an action star. It also made a legion of fanboys stand up and cheer for their favorite video-game vixen — no longer just a pixilated fantasy. In her first adventure, Lara escapes heavy artillery, battles a mechanical monster, and scales walls. She's like a female Indiana Jones, but with better legs.

The winner:

Lara. Evelyn may be able to leap from car to car in fast-moving traffic, but Lara slays all comers in her sleeveless-T-and-short-shorts ensemble.

The match-up: Evelyn Salt vs. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow's Franky

Jolie's role as an eye-patch-sporting pilot in this sci-fi adventure is small. She leads a squad of fighter planes (which do double duty in the water) to an evil doctor's lair, opening up a hole for Jude Law's Sky Captain to save the day. Her greatest weapon: a killer British accent.

The winner:

Evelyn. Franky is lost without her wings. Evelyn, on the other hand, can jump from a speeding train and walk away without a scratch. That's badass.

The match-up: Evelyn Salt vs. Mr. andMrs. Smith's Jane Smith

Jolie and Brad Pitt play rival assassins who happen to be married. Jane packs more heat than Lil Wayne on tour and has no problem taking out her husband if the job calls for it. But she's messy: You just know she left her splintered, shot-up house for the help to clean.

The winner:

It's a tossup. Evelyn is sneakier, so you gotta watch out. But if it's a gunfight, we'll take Jane. Either way, you don't want to piss them off.

The match-up: Evelyn Salt vs.

Kung Fu Panda's Tigress

Tigress is one of the Furious Five martial-arts masters (along with a monkey, a snake, a bird, and a praying mantis) who must stop an evil leopard from taking over the town. She might be a cartoon, but Jolie brings her usual tough-talking, ball-busting game here. Plus, she has lightning-fast moves. And you thought Jolie's marriage to Billy Bob Thornton was quick.

The winner:

Tigress. She's a freakin' tiger. Ain't no way a human — even if she looks like Angelina Jolie — can beat that.Send feedback to mgallucci@clevescene.com.

More by Michael Gallucci

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