Ever since she discovered her sister “accidentally planned” a baby with her boyfriend, comic Beth Stelling has developed a fear of having children. At her birth control appointment, she learned that even her uterus doesn’t want kids, since it’s tipped backward as if to say “no way.” Other topics include scoffing at the “bikini ready” magazine articles in the grocery store line by sliding a Little Debbie across the counter, and making fun of the women on The Bachelor. This chick is funny and her humor is perfect for either a date night or a girls’ night out. The show starts at 8 tonight at Hilarities, where Stelling performs through Sunday. Tickets are $18 to 23. (Liz Trenholme)