Thursday | 10
Funny Stuff
Jimmy Shubert Hits Hilarities
Comedian Jimmy Shubert is a man on a mission: "I like to entertain people in any form and under any circumstances," he rasps in his Philly accent. "Whether it's in a sold-out theater or in the middle of a war zone in Afghanistan, my mission is to make them laugh." You can rate his success tonight through Saturday as the comic brings his full-frontal assault to Hilarities, with an "angry guy" routine reminiscent of Lewis Black. He also brings a résumé packed with television credits, including Reno 911!, not to mention two comedy albums, a recently released DVD, and assorted film roles. Tickets to the 21-and-over show start at $15 at 216-736-4242, or order online at pickwickandfrolic.com. Hilarities 4th Street Theatre is at 2035 East Fourth St. — Chrissy Niehaus
Friday | 11
Dirty Jokes
Jackie Martling Makes a Mess
For 18 years, Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling served as head writer for The Howard Stern Show. His 1997 book was called Jackie Martling's Disgustingly Dirty Joke Book, and his website is jokeland.com. He also appeared in Stern's film, Private Parts, and in The Aristocrats, Penn Jillette's 2005 homage to the dirtiest joke ever. These days, Martling has his own Sirius-XM radio show — Jackie's Joke Hunt — and a recently released CD called Snart, containing 78 minutes of dirty jokes. Turns out, he's on tour, too, with a scheduled stop tonight in the House of Blues' Cambridge Room. We'll leave it up to you to guess what his shtick will be. But we will tell you that tickets are $50 in advance and $55 at the door, and that each ticket includes three drinks, warm-up laughs from Cleveland comedians Jim Tews and Andrew Pucella, and music by DJ Rocco Russo. Doors open at 8 p.m. and the funny stuff starts at 9. For tickets or more info, call 216-523-2583 or go to houseofblues.com. The House of Blues is at 308 Euclid Ave. — Cicora
Art Walk
Party Arty in Tremont
This weekend's Tremont Art Walk starts with a stop at Cletown Art Party, a one-night celebration of homegrown art and the people who buy it. Founded in 2008 by photographer Ryan Hobson, Cletown's non-profit mission is promoting a more cohesive bond between creatives and their community. Fellow organizer Rachel Hunt says tonight's event will be all that plus a chance to take part in an interactive art project, listen to spoken-word performances, and purchase some unique works from established and emerging artists. Among that later group, you'll find Clevelander James Havran, a self-taught 21-year-old whose fanciful pop art fairly bursts with color. "The thrill is in being able to make art," says Havran. "The hard part is getting discovered." Discover Havran and a dozen other artists from 5 to 11 p.m. at SCK Design (above Lago), at 2221 Professor Ave. For more information, go to ctownartparty.com. — Cicora
Love on Screen
Indie Romance Makes Beautiful Music
Just in time for your V-Day canoodling, the Cleveland Museum of Art is debuting the most romantic indie film of 2010: Guy and Madeline on a Park Bench. Shot documentary-style in black and white, and filled with song, dance, and finger-popping jazz, the flick convincingly captures the grittiness of modern American romance, by way of two less-than-perfect protagonists — trumpeter-philanderer Guy (Jason Palmer) and aimless, introverted Madeline (Desiree Garcia) — who love, lose, then return to love again. The upshot is a movie that has been called "delightful" (Village Voice), "brilliant" (Time Out New York), and "magical" (Variety), and has snagged awards and nominations at festivals around the country. It makes its Ohio debut at 7 p.m. at the Cleveland Museum of Art's Morley Lecture Hall. Tix are $9 at the door, with discounts for students, seniors, and members. For more information, call 216-421-7350 or visit clevelandart.org. Find them at 11150 East Blvd. in University Circle. — Shanette Buford
Stage
Cleveland Public Theatre Breaks Into Dance
It's a double bill of contemporary dance tonight as Cleveland Public Theatre's Big [BOX] series presents two thought-provoking works by area choreographers: Through Her Eyes, by Kenya Woods, and Fast Forward-Rewind-Stop, by Jennifer Sandoval. Both pieces explore issues of social equality and identity. Incidentally, this is the tenth year for Big [BOX], CPT's award-winning residency program that focuses on the independent creative artist. Additional Big [BOX] artists will be showcased each weekend through March 6. Tonight's performance is at 7:30 p.m., with repeat performances Saturday and Sunday. General admission is $15, less for students and seniors. Snag tickets at the box office by calling 216-631-2727 or online at cptonline.org. Cleveland Public Theatre is at 6415 Detroit Ave. — Buford
Saturday | 12
Instant Art
Armored Charmers Attack Lakewood!
Forget the piercings, the ink, and the black T-shirts: The three talents behind Armored Charmers just want to paint you a pretty picture. That's what they'll do tonight at the Pop Shop's (art)ificial gallery, as they collaboratively create three pieces to be raffled off at evening's end. Illustrator Steve Knerem, abstract artist Bob Peck, and "bio-organic" abstractionist Sorin Gabor make up the self-styled Charmers. They already have six collaborative works beneath their studded leather belts: bold, colorful pieces that blend flowing lines, figural representation, and a touch of science fiction for what Knerem calls "pretty but gritty" artwork. The colleagues say the process has been a gas. "It's been a great way to see how the other guys think," says Gabor, who is branching out into tattoo artistry. "The local art scene can be tough. In this show, we're trying to get away from competition and emphasize collaboration." Tonight's togetherness begins at 6 p.m. at 17020 Madison Ave. in Lakewood. The exhibition, which also contains each artist's solo works, continues through February 28. For more information, call 216-227-8440 or visit popshopgallery.com. — Elaine T. Cicora
Family Fun
Little Mermaid Makes a Splash
Hans Christian Andersen's Little Mermaid has been a busy gal since her 1837 debut, swimming from the page to the stage, and ultimately to the Disney animation workshops. Now she's back as a puppet, in an original Cleveland Play House "Theatre for Children" production aimed at the 5-to-10 crowd. An upbeat updating of Andersen's original bummer of a fairytale, this one-woman puppet play casts actress, singer, and playwright Nina Domingue in every role. Today's performances start at 1 and 3 p.m. at the Play House's Studio One Theatre, 8500 Euclid Ave. Tickets are $20 for grown-ups and $10 for kids 12 and under, at 216-795-7000. For online sales or more information, visit clevelandplayhouse.com. — Niehaus
Love on a Plate
A Touch of Sex
They say the best aphrodisiac is an active imagination. So imagine yourself tonight at Touch Supper Club, savoring a five-course champagne dinner from executive chef Jeff Fisher. Besides the bubbly (itself a well-known turn on), imagine that each course contains at least one ingredient rumored to have arousing properties: asparagus, mushrooms, truffles, chocolate, and the like. Then imagine that, after just the right amount of drinking, dining, and staring into one another's eyes, you and your squeeze head down to the dance floor, where your evening climaxes with a sweaty session of salsa dancing. Finally, imagine that all this Valentine's-style romance will set you back a mere $70 per couple. Of course, imagination has its limitations. If you want actual reservations, you'll have to pick up a real phone and call 216-631-5200. Seatings begin tonight at 5; the aphrodisiac menu will be repeated on Valentine's Day. Touch Supper Club is at 2710 Lorain Ave. in Ohio City. For details, go to touchohiocity.com. — Cicora
Sunday | 13
Waterloo Art Walk
Come Play in Collinwood
This weekend marks the Valentine's edition of Walk All Over Waterloo, a laid-back art walk featuring special performances, exhibits, and sales from Waterloo Arts District merchants. For instance, you'll find punch, cookies, and a $1 LP sale at Blue Arrow Records & Boutique, Cle-made jewelry, messenger bags, and art prints at Native Cleveland, and a Rockin' Weekend Brunch at the Beachland Ballroom. Then there's today's meeting of the Cleveland Yo-Yo Club: Bring, borrow, or buy a yo-yo and try to remember how you did the Butterfly in fifth grade. On hand to help you recall your middle-school moves will be club co-founder Steve Brown, a U.S. National Yo-Yo Master. If your visit helps rekindle a long-lost spark of yo-mance, please note: The club meets each Wednesday evening and Sunday afternoon, and provides a place for area kids — and grown-ups — to do something fun, constructive, and safe. Yo away, from 1 to 3 p.m. at the club's HQ, 15813 Waterloo Rd. For more club info, check out clevelandyoyoclub.com. For a full schedule of art walk activities, go to facebook.com/WaterlooArtsDistrict. — Terry Jozwiak
Monday | 14
Photo Exhibition
44 Women Who Rocked Your World
Once upon a time, a woman who hung around rock bands was assumed to be a groupie or somebody's girlfriend. That this is no longer the case is due, in no small part, to female rock photogs like New York's Annie Leibovitz and Cleveland's Anastasia Pantsios, who helped shatter barriers on both sides of the lens. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame honors Pantsios, a Scene staffer, and her long history of rock photography in an exhibit that opens today: Girls on Film: 40 Years of Women in Rock. In 44 photos, Pantsios chronicles women's emergence on the rock scene, starting with a 1969 shot of Jefferson Airplane taken in Chicago's Grant Park. "That was the first rock show I ever saw," recalls Pantsios. "I really started listening to rock music because of Grace Slick." She went on to photograph scores of female ground-breakers — including Joan Jett (1982) at Music Hall and Tina Turner (1984) at Blossom Music Center — and to see her photos featured in books, on album covers, and in publications like Rolling Stone and Village Voice. The exhibition, featuring images from 1969 to 2006, continues through September 5 in the Patty, Jay, and Kizzy Baker Gallery. It's free with regular Rock Hall admission. For more information, visit rockhall.com or call 216-781-7625. — Terry Jozwiak
Love on the Floor
Tango Time at Kan Zaman
It takes two to tango, and tonight dancers Donna Voller and Greg Messina will be your designated duo. The Clevelanders have been teaching and performing the Argentinian love dance since 2006, and report that interest in tango has never been stronger. In fact, one of their most popular classes happens each Monday at Kan Zaman — no surprise, actually, since the flames of Argentinian tango have been sweeping through the Middle East in recent years. Regardless of culture, Greg says tango is pretty spicy stuff. "This is not your Dancing With the Stars tango," he cautions. "This is a social dance filled with passion and emotion." Passionate types can learn the basics beginning at 7 p.m. A "building on the basics" class follows at 8, and the dance party launches at 9 — all for $10. Plus, because it's Valentine's Day, look for free roses for the ladies and free baklava for everyone. Kan Zaman is at 1616 West 25th St. in Ohio City. For more information about local tango events, visit neotango.net. — Cicora
Tuesday | 15
Art Alert!
Nick Cave Comes to CIA
Part tribal raiments, part urban ritual wear, the Soundsuits made by renowned Chicago fiber artist Nick Cave are fantastical, wearable sculptures, meticulously hand-crafted from beads, sequins, hair, metal, and assorted flea-market finds. Cooler still: When worn as dance costumes, the outfits rattle and resonate in concert with the dancer's movements. The resulting performances are crazy-beautiful sensory assaults that have found their way into festivals and museums across the country and Europe. Tonight, Cave will make a stop at the Cleveland Institute of Art to talk about his work. While no actual performance is on tap, Cave is expected to bring some Soundsuit components as visual aids; plus, how often do you have a chance to hang with a dude widely acclaimed as one of today's most important artists? Cave's free presentation takes place at 7 p.m. in the Aitken Auditorium. The Cleveland Institute of Art is at 11141 East Blvd. For more information, visit cia.edu. — Cicora
Wednesday | 16
Onscreen Opera
La Traviata at Cedar Lee
The Cedar Lee Theatre is Cleveland's destination for limited-release films. But did you know they show opera too? Both live simulcasts and pre-recorded shows are part of the ongoing HD opera series. Tonight, it's a pre-recorded showing of Giuseppe Verdi's classic La Traviata, as performed at the Royal Opera House in London. The opera follows Violetta Valéry, a famed Parisian courtesan, through her trials of love and terminal illness. Fun fact: The Oscar-nominated 2001 film Moulin Rouge! was based on La Traviata. Tonight's show starts at 7 p.m. and will be repeated on February 27. Tickets are $20 and can be ordered online at clevelandcinemas.com or snagged at the box office. For more information, call 440-528-8224. The Cedar Lee Theatre is at 2163 Lee Rd. in Cleveland Heights. — Delaney