Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club. Because No News is Bad News.

I'm Not a Terrorist, Biatch! 

Whiny wit gives airport security a few choice words.

Yeah, he's glad he's big (his act is big enough?) enough to have to travel far and wide for gigs. But Boston-born comic Bill Burr would rather stay home in his adopted L.A. than endure another strip search at airport terminals. He's done that dance so much, he's convinced that Homeland Security has botched the country's war on terror by making him empty his wallet, open his suitcase, and take off his shoes. "They're back to the same eight-dollar-an-hour morons that they had before 9/11," says Burr. "I go through airport security, and I realize how expendable I am as an individual."After a three-year absence from Cleveland's stages, the Comedy Central and HBO regular breaks into his shtick at Hilarities tonight to help peddle his first-ever CD, Emotionally Unavailable. The 75-minute disc spotlights live Philadelphia and Houston shows from his 2004 I'm Rich, Biatch tour. Between cracks on midgets, hookers, and Oprah, Burr takes aim at the uselessness of the digital age. "I want to learn how to hunt and kill an animal. I want to learn how to start a fire without a match," says Burr. "I really don't think Windows 2020 is going to be something I'll ever need at the rate we're going." The bitchfest starts at 8 and 10:45 tonight, and 7:30 p.m. tomorrow at Hilarities, 2035 East Fourth Street. Tickets are $15 to $23. Call 216-736-4242 or visit www.pickwickandfrolic.com.
Sat., Dec. 15, 8 & 10:45 p.m.; Sun., Dec. 16, 7:30 p.m., 2007

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at news@clevescene.com.

Cleveland Scene works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Cleveland and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Cleveland's true free press free.

Speaking of Highlights

More by Cris Glaser

Read the Digital Print Issue

September 23, 2020

View more issues

Most Popular

No recently-read stories.

Visit the archives…

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Calendar