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Celebrating July 4 in Lakewood Comes With 10 Rules

Considering the bombing in Boston. You were expecting? As long as people live in fear, this is the end result.

—Tim Johnson

Does anyone else think Lakewood's over-the-top policing might have something to do with fears about racial change? Nah!


Everything has to spelled out and visible—nowadays—or there will be a few in a large crowd that will try everything imaginable to ruin things...which typically starts with not knowing, seeing and/or understanding the rules.


The last few rules on the bottom of the sign fell off. Here they are: July 4th Park Rules (continued)

8. No children allowed 9. Smiling, laughing, or making noise of any kind is prohibited.

10. Shoes are not permitted because this one guy had a shoe bomb once.

11. Anyone caught farting, burping, or yawning will be removed from the park and subject to arrest.

12. No items that glow in the dark are permitted. Any salespeople trying to sell any glowing items will be sent to Guantanamo Bay.

13. Have fun!!!


No sparklers? It's not the fourth of July without sparklers!


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