Little Fockers

Dustin Hoffman initially refused to appear in Little Fockers, the third — and, if there’s a God, last — in the illustrious comedy series that began a decade ago with Meet the Parents and continued with 2004’s Meet the Fockers. Hoffman eventually agreed to shoot a few scenes, but consider yourself warned about this depressing exercise in vulgarity, which boasts enemas, farts, spurting blood, projectile vomit, and a syringe stabbing an old man’s erection — many of which show up in the first half hour. In this installment, nurse Gaylord “Greg” Focker (Ben Stiller) contends with his insanely suspicious ex-CIA father-in-law Jack (Robert De Niro), who, after suffering a heart attack, wants to anoint Focker his successor as head of the family (or Godfocker, in the movie’s dismally unfunny parlance). Convinced that Greg is a bad father and cheating on wife Pam (Teri Polo) with a beautiful pharmaceutical rep (Jessica Alba), Jack stalks Greg and suggests Pam dump him for her lovelorn ex-boyfriend (Owen Wilson). It took four people to write this atrocity, the most remarkable feature of which is that an exceptionally classy cast (including Blythe Danner and Barbra Streisand) was persuaded to participate in it.