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Savage Love: Scrubs 

Dear Dan,

I'm a gay medical student with a medical fetish. I think the fetish started when I was young; I was once in the hospital and given a suppository for a fever. Then one time I was given a Fleet enema. I don't think the "butt stuff" turned me gay, but my fetish may stem from the aspect of being controlled. I've never been in a relationship, and I don't know that I could have one while hiding what turns me on. In my profession, we have to be confident and even sort of "dominant" in our roles as providers, but underneath I'm incredibly submissive. I didn't go into medicine for this reason. We have very strict professional boundaries and ethical expectations, and I have no problem with that. But outside of work, I feel like my sexual desires need some kind of outlet.

— Dilemma Of Conscience

"Someone can have one persona at work and another at home," said Eric the Red, a Florida nurse and a fellow medical fetishist. "DOC can be confident and dominant at work —his patients need someone confident and dominant to get them through their medical issues — and then find someone to spend his life with who brings out his submissive side to make him feel like a whole person."

In other words, DOC, when you do start dating and having relationships, you're going to want to be open about your kinks. You want a sex partner who meets your needs, not one you have to hide your needs from. So long as you keep things professional at work, you have nothing to feel conflicted about.

"The one practical problem he will encounter is that since he actually knows how to give a physical, he may have less patience with fetishists who are not medical professionals in real life and don't really know what they are doing," said Eric. "Over the years, I have trained nonprofessionals who want to play doctor to give semi-realistic physicals and otherwise have enough technical expertise to do a medical scene that's realistic enough that I can enjoy being their patient without screaming, 'No, that's not how it's done!' He may find himself doing the same."

The good news?

"DOC won't have any trouble finding like-minded people," said Eric. "Medical fetishists are well organized online; just spend a few minutes on Google and he'll find them."

Dear Dan,

As a 56-year-old, 95-percent-straight woman, I'd like to think all y'all gay men can enjoy blowjobs without that dip in the degradation pool straight men always take. On PornHub recently, I watched a fearless young woman use a dildo five ways and come at least 10 full symphony times. This new generation of women! Impressive! But then I watched an 18-year-old Russian woman with an equally beautiful black American man. She sucked away on his dick and swallowed 12 times in five minutes! I kept thinking: She's gonna get a break now? Maybe a hug? A beer, a joint, a pay raise? Something?!? Nope. She even apologized for spilling some come at one point. Now I'm SAD. Y'all gay men do blowjobs without degradation. Tell straight men how it's done!

— Really Angry Gal Is Needing Gays

There's nothing inherently demeaning about giving someone a blowjob, and plenty of people — gay, straight, bi, pan, demi, sapio, etc. —give and receive blowjobs without splashing around in the degradation pool.

That said, RAGING, gay men are just as likely as straight men to "dip in the degradation pool" when they're getting blowjobs — particularly when a blowjob is being filmed. You'll find lots of videos where the guys giving blowjobs are degraded — called names, roughly handled, made to apologize for come spillage — and you'll be hard-pressed to find one in which the word "cocksucker" isn't tossed around. But don't feel bad for all those gay cocksuckers, RAGING: For many gay men, the taunts we feared most in high school become the dirty talk that gets us off in adulthood. As for the video you saw — a Russian interfering with an American erection — there must have been breaks that were edited out (no guy can come 12 times in five minutes), so hugs, beers, and joints may have been made available when the cameras weren't running.

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