Support Local Journalism. Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club.

Screw Your Waiter 

TurtleTip.com hones the art of lousy tipping.

In a development hailed by tightwads and chickenshits everywhere, San Franciscans Stone and Nikkie Melet have launched TurtleTip.com, a new website they claim provides "a clever solution for turning bad restaurant service into a good experience."

The key lies inside the company's "Turtle Packs," little sticker packets "complete with pictures of a sleepy looking cartoon turtle dressed as a waiter." Keep the packet in your pocket, "and anytime you get mediocre service, simply leave a sticker on the bill, letting the server know their tip is less than 20 percent because of less-than-perfect service."

Theoretically, Turtle Tippers will then speed home to donate the difference between the standard tip and the amount actually left on the table to a favorite charity, thereby helping those less fortunate while at the same time teaching the server a valuable lesson.

Yeah, right.

Not only does such thinking reek of yuppie cluelessness, it also prompts the question: Have these two ever actually worked for an hourly wage? The Melets profess concern that the system not be perceived as patronizing or punitive. Thus, each Turtle Pack also includes a few smiley-faced stickers saying "Thanks for great service!"

"We've actually handed out more of those than of the negative type," says Stone, adding that he hasn't stuck around long enough to actually gauge servers' reactions. Good call there.

Apparently, the Melets' mission was inspired by concern that many of us leave generous tips for mediocre service "out of fear of confrontation or of appearing cheap."

And from that perspective, turtle stickers probably are a fix. Slap one of them babies on your dinner tab and pocket the tip, and no server will call you cheap. Asshole, yes. But cheap? Nah, that kind of treatment is way beyond miserly.

Movable Feast . . . After a little more than three years in Woodmere, specialty foods seller Metropolitan Market has relocated to 30750 Pinetree Road in Pepper Pike (216-896-0500). Restaurant-quality seafood and USDA Prime and Choice meats are among the market's major draws. Other cool eats include lobster bisque, pastries, and an assortment of holiday appetizers. Check it out 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday through Friday, and 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at news@clevescene.com.

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club


Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.


Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.


Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

November 17, 2021

View more issues

Most Popular

No recently-read stories.

Visit the archives…

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Calendar

© 2021 Cleveland Scene: 737 Bolivar Rd., Suite 4100, Cleveland, OH 44115, (216) 505-8199
Logos and trademarks on this site are property of their respective owners.


Website powered by Foundation