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Ted Nugent 

With Alex Winston. Wednesday, June 13, at House of Blues.

The left-leaning rock fan has a hard time dealing with Ted Nugent. That's because the guy digs guns, Republicans, and hunting. He also isn't totally tolerant of the gay lifestyle -- or anything gay for that matter (even though he sports a perm). But when the shit hits the fan in this country, there's no better place to hide than inside Uncle Ted's superfortress up in Michigan. Not only can Nugent hunt, kill, and prepare food in the wild, the dude can shred on guitar, providing entertainment at those nightly campfires. For proof, check out "Stranglehold," "Free-for-All," and most important, the live version of "Great White Buffalo."

Nugent's records are rocking for sure, but in the live setting he typically plays things 4 to 1,000 times faster. It's insane. He also doesn't fuck around with drugs, so he never has off-nights. Furthermore, he's from the Detroit area -- the American breeding ground for rock greatness. All these reasons point to why it'd be excellent to spend your post-apocalyptic life with Ted Nugent. But until that time comes, just go see him live.

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