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The Homeless Are Homeless Again 

Self-appointed President of the Homeless Dave Campbell loses the Camelot homeless encampment

After losing the Camelot homeless encampment to the wrecking ball a few weeks ago, self-appointed President of the Homeless Dave Campbell recently reflected on the unsuccessful standoff. He blames Rosewater, a group of homeless activists, for failing to maintain a united front. "The city didn't win," Campbell says. "We lost." Most of the Camelotians moved to other camps around the city, and Campbell insists no one allowed the city to direct them to shelters. Nor has the city heard the last of Rosewater, whose goal remains to "liberate" abandoned buildings. "We just lost an aircraft carrier," he says of Camelot.

Cleveland City Council will soon be needled by the question of whether to lift Cleveland's 80-year tattooing ban. The ACLU, representing Elyria tattoo studio owner Tony DeRigo, has threatened to sue if the city doesn't let him set up shop in Cleveland. ACLU attorney Ray Vasvari says the city law department has agreed to ask council and the mayor if they want to change the law, but the issue may be foreign territory for councilmembers. "I am not knowledgeable on the issue. I don't have a tattoo," admits Council President Mike Polensek. "I'm planning on getting one with the mayor's name on it. I won't tell you where it's going, though."

Cloak-and-dagger missives but few details came out of Mayor White's office over his "previously scheduled foot surgery." So, as a duty to our loyal readers, The Edge uncovered a few possible explanations for how Hizzoner busted his clomper:

" Attempting to boot the 618-foot Steamship Mather out of its Ninth Street mooring.

" Run over while helping Nate Gray direct traffic in airport parking ramp.

" Dropping the dead-tree harvest from one of The Plain Dealer's voluminous public records requests on his toe.

" Kicking homeless ass.

" Overly rambunctious game of political football with Jimmy Dimora, no Tater Tot himself, over plans for the lakefront.

" Toeing the line -- with extreme prejudice.

" An inevitable trip after stepping on so many people's backs over the years.

Or perhaps the mayor was undergoing a more routine procedure -- like having his foot extracted from his mouth.

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September 23, 2020

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