A Bling Thing

Sofia Coppola’s film The Bling Ring, based on a Vanity Fair article about Hollywood teenagers who burglarize A-listers’ mansions, has all sorts of extended fetishy sequences throughout. It is the montage to which fashionistas blithely masturbate. The high-cal entree of the 87-minute visual feast is something like a fashion-show, during which the cherubic thieves (Emma Watson, et al.) track down celebrity addresses, easily outwit security cameras, enter through unlocked doors, and then try on the shoes and clothes and brandish the luggage of Lindsay Lohan, Rachel Bilson, Audrina Patridge, Orlando Bloom and Paris Hilton whilst exclaiming “Oh my God!” on repeat. They steal $3 million worth of goods, all told, get caught and then feel really sorry for themselves, in the way of shallow, excessively privileged high-schoolers. Visually arresting fare, but not quite enough narrative meat on the bone. It plays tonight at 9:20 and tomorrow at 8:40 at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. Tickets for non-members are $9. (Allard)