Ohio Prepares for Dad Drinking Schedules After Gov. DeWine Asks for 10 p.m. Last Call to Stem Coronavirus Tide

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click to enlarge Ohio Prepares for Dad Drinking Schedules After Gov. DeWine Asks for 10 p.m. Last Call to Stem Coronavirus Tide
Mike DeWine holding the enemy of freedom and liberty and the American way/ The Ohio Channel

Gov. Mike DeWine announced today, in yet another belated example of leadership, that he will ask the Ohio Liquor Control Commission to limit bars and restaurants to a 10 p.m. last call in a half-hearted effort to stem the coronavirus tide.

The commission will vote in an emergency meeting tomorrow to enact the limitations that somehow indicate that drinkers and the virus are in no way interacting with each other while the sun is in the sky. (Update: The commission voted 3-0 to approve the restriction, effective 7/31/2020.)

"Shutting down for a second time would be devastating to Ohio’s bars and restaurants. We are not going to do that today," DeWine said today while announcing the half-measure.

Some, but not the majority of Ohioans, will now have to adapt their drinking schedules to those of the middle-aged and fatherhood, wherein alcohol is consumed mainly at home and, when out and about, before sundown.

Degenerates, alcoholics, the forlorn of Ohio and the occasional NFL player will have to shift their debauchery, which we mainly assume to be drinking with other COVID deniers or by oneself, to the hours before the 11 p.m. nightly newscast kicks off.

To be fair, hitting the hay before the local weather is a refreshing and admirable decision. Your body will thank you.

There will undoubtedly arrive a court challenge from some grandstanding establishment keen on seeking legal redress for this intrusive decision that sends folks home before an overriding sense of inebriation, often accompanied by the decision to ignore social distancing and masks standards, takes hold. These folks clearly have the best interest of you, the consumer and general public, in mind.

A special shout-out to those places, which are most of them, that abided by the rules and safety guidelines. It seems those that have chosen to skirt the restrictions or otherwise ignore them have helped lead to today's announcement. We feel for their bottom lines, and encourage you to support them with your takeout dollars and future business, of course.

Ohio, it's worth noting here as we digest the news, saw a record number of COVID-19 cases today.

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