Something called 'soccer' to be broadcast on bar TVs today

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In soccer, it seems, the jerseys are made out of smooth, silky human skin.
As most of northeast Ohio remains in mourning after the unfortunate series loss to the Boston Celtics and their collection of aliens, the rest of the world is hyping up for a sports match of the century. Chelsea F.C. will battle Manchester United F.C. for the Champions league title today at 2 p.m, and The Pub in Rocky River will open early to broadcast the game live on HD. There will be $4 pints and a special on fish and chips. On the east side, Cleveland Heights' Pub on Lee is also a noted soccer hang. If we're making absolutely no sense to you right now, worry not. This is a blog about soccer, the sport we hear about every four years when Mia Hamm and that snooty goalie with the strange name, Hope Solo, take over ESPN for a few weeks, disrupting our regular viewing of the pro bowling and superceding Mel Kiper Jr.’s mock mock draft. ...
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