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Johnny Depp's bad vacation isn't too pleasant for you either

With a title like The Tourist, you can bet this movie is going to have plenty of pretty locales. What this slow-moving European-set Hitchcock-style thriller/James Bond-like adventure doesn’t have is much of a plot.

Elise (Angelina Jolie), the British girlfriend of a big-time thief, uses vacationing American math teacher Frank (Johnny Depp) to throw police off the trail of her real love. Bad guys also want a piece of Elise’s BF, who owes them lots of money. Chases and gunshots ensue.

Jolie and Depp, in their first onscreen pairing, coast through their roles. Not that you blame them: you’ve seen this story so many times before. You’ll even catch the movie’s twist before Elise does.

Director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck stages The Tourist like an old-school 007 flick, but for all of its frantic globetrotting, it never really goes anywhere. --Michael Gallucci

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