Opening: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Paramount shelved this movie for nearly a year to retool it. But no amount of retooling could save it. An ill-conceived sequel to 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, it starts out with a scene in which the G.L. Joes are betrayed after seizing a nuclear warhead during a dangerous military operation in a remote Middle Eastern desert. In the process, their leader Duke (Channing Tatum) is killed and Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), a fearless hulk of a man who likes to quote Jay-Z when the group heads into battle, takes command of the survivors, Flint (D.J. Cotrona) and Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki). They somehow make their way back to the states where they slowly realize that the man who ordered the hit on them is none other than chief nemesis Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), who has craftily disguised himself as the President of the United States. In order to retaliate (the film’s title basically gives away the plot), the trio enlists the help of retired General Joseph Colton (Bruce Willis). The choreography in the martial arts scenes is terrific but this film ultimately falls flat. Even by summer sequel standards, it would be a bust.

About The Author

Jeff Niesel

Jeff has been covering the Cleveland music scene for more than 20 years now. And on a regular basis, he tries to talk to whatever big acts are coming through town, too. If you're in a band that he needs to hear, email him at [email protected]
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