With the Beastie Boys on another extended vacation, the restless one, Adam Horovitz, is, well, being restless. While his bandmates kick back (or heal from bike accidents, as in the case of Mike D), Horovitz is hitting the road in support of his side project, BS 2000, which recently released its debut album, Simply Mortified
. And fans hoping to catch Ad-Rock do that Beastie Boys thang will be . . . simply mortified, unless that BB thang they want to catch includes the cheesy, organ-fueled instrumentals that pop up sporadically on Beastie records. With old friend Amery Smith, Horovitz has made an album of garage rock. Except this garage is empty, save a couple of keyboards, a drum machine, and one microphone. Simply Mortified
merely represents the wonders of the Casio stretched out over 20 songs, several of them instrumentals. Lyrical plays include such narratives as a roller-coaster ride that ends with a bird in the face and yet another jab at music critics (as well as songs with titles such as "New Gouda," "Flossin at Lawson," and "Dansk Party"). It also resurrects the old Alka-Seltzer theme, "No Matter What Shape (Your Stomach Is In)." And it even hopes to get a new dance craze going in "The Side to Side," a pseudo-soul workout that's sure to keep the hipsters dancing and giggling. It's all corny stuff, but Simply Mortified
comes and goes in a brisk 40 minutes. Imagine all those Beastie Boys instrumentals, take out the serious ones, eliminate the competent ones, and degrade the entire package to the point where the Casio keyboard sounds like the most expensive thing in the mix, and you have a pretty good idea of what BS 2000 is all about. It's a frivolous retreat, but no reason for Horovitz to quit his day job.