Christmas With R. Kelly

We're huge fans of R. Kelly's five-part "Trapped in the Closet," in which everybody's favorite R&B golden-shower enthusiast -- over the course of a five-song mini-opera -- commits adultery, has a showdown with an enraged husband and his gay lover, and finds out that his own wife has been cheating on him. Now, just in time for the holidays, comes the three-chapter "Trapped in the CLAUSet," in which everybody's favorite holiday gift-giver discovers some troubling news about his old lady and his best red-nosed reindeer. The story unfolds here. --Michael Gallucci

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