NPR Reviews Britney Spears: “The technological jingle-jangles tickle our earlobes!”

NPR is best known for broadcasting bedtime stories about striking female cab drivers in Pakistan. Which is why, listening to the station while driving yesterday, I almost hit a tree when they aired a review of Britney Spears’ newest opus. Like the New York Times reviews of Lil’ Wayne in which they call him Mr. Carter, Ken Tucker’s dissection of an eight-babied white trash queen’s work is hilarious because it’s somebody really smart talking about something really dumb. The glowing review is clearly written by a man having his first experience with Timbaland, and contains such gems as “It tickles my ears to listen to the clever use of technology,” noting an auditory appreciation of “witty jingle-jangles and an inexorable, irresistible beat.” “From the trade music publications I read,” Tucker relays, “[it’s] a good dance club album, for those of you that go out at night and use music for fun and courtship.” I won’t ruin it all for you, though—you’ll have to listen yourself. Just in case, first find some Saran Wrap and barf-proof your keyboard. -- Gus Garcia-Roberts