Redneck Rules

Gretchen Wilson's guide to dating and drinking.

Gretchen Wilson Thursday, April 27, at Wolstein Center.
Howdy, gals. Gretchen Wilson here. Back before I was Redneck Woman No. 1, I was livin' in Pocahontas, Illinois, just tryin' to pay the bills and find myself a good man. A friend gave me that datin' guide, The Rules. Well, these here are The Redneck Rules, taken from the words to my songs. Hell yeah! Now get out of the trailer and go get 'em, girls!

Rule Number 4: If yer heart's achin' over some jackass who knocked you up, Budweiser is a universal cure-all. It'll leave you one Bud wiser and get you in the right mood to find yer kid a new daddy.

Rule Number 9: There's nothin' wrong with the Bible and sure as hell ain't nothin' wrong with a sinner who finally believes. Especially if he's still up for sinnin' with you, hell yeah! God might be politically uncorrect these days, but a man who don't believe ain't worth his Silverado.

Rule Number 17: Men like a chick who drinks beer all night, plain and simple. Besides, who can swig that sweet champagne?

Rule Number 27: Wear yer jeans just a li'l tight, if you know what I mean. Boys come undone when they see a seam ridin' up yer ass. Hell yeah!

Rule Number 35: Keep in mind, I'm an eightball-shootin', double-fisted drinkin' sonofagun, but I find guys like it real nice when you get a little crazy just because you can. Mud-boggin' topless always does the trick for me. Hell yeah!

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