On Thursday, July 26, we're cutting off traffic on West Sixth and seizing control of five downtown party holes: the Velvet Dog, Blind Pig, Tequila Ranch, Liquid/Fusion, and Bar Flyy. With a diamond-encrusted wristband that costs a measly five bucks (the diamonds are really small), denizens from all over Northeast Ohio can stumble from club to club, sampling 36 of the region's most kick-ass musicians and DJs.
It's cliché, but yes, there's something for everyone -- from Mick Boogie, one of America's premier hip-hop DJs, to Disown, dark industrial rockers channeling the ghoulish spirit of Trent Reznor. We've got Return of Simple, perfect pop craftsmen you have to check out before they blow up and bolt. And for the urban-cowboy set, we've lassoed rural rockers the Jack Fords. If you ask nicely and provide enough whiskey, they may ride the Ranch's bull with you.
Use this official SMF guide to program your night. A full schedule will help you develop a clear plan of action, which you will promptly ditch upon falling in love with that special bassist. And Q-and-As with each band will provide the 411: Did you know, for instance, that High Scarab spins low-end dubstep wobblers? That the American Werewolves swam naked in the Cuyahoga? That Mick Boogie once got busy in the Rock Hall?
No, you didn't. But you do now. So read on. Inform yourself. Plot. Plan. And get that wristband. We may not be handing out awards this year, but we're giving a far greater gift: music, alcohol, and one damn fine excuse to miss work on a Friday. -- Justin F. Farrar
Chris Allen
8:30 P.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.chrisallenmusic.com.
Personnel: Chris Allen, Chris Hanna, Doug McKean, Tom Prebish, and Joe Rohan.
Your best release: Goodbye Girl and the Big Apple Circus. It's got everything good rock needs: circus freaks, New York City, and Don Dixon on bass.
Three classic bands you would open for: The Replacements, the Clash, and the Heartbreakers.
Favorite place to play: My front porch.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: My front porch.
I'll never forget . . . lost on tour in Des Moines, Iowa, when a prostitute tried forcing her way into the van. As we drove off, she screamed, "Go the hell back to potato land, you bunch of chippies!"
Cleveland's greatest band: The GC5 -- last of the real Cleveland punk bands.
Why fans need to see you: We like to do the old-school three-hour set, if we can get away with it.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Do you have to ask?
American Rockstar
9:20 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.americanrockstar.com.
Personnel: Dallas Riffle, Scott Sykora, Mark Brown, and Kevin Corrigan.
Your best release: Adapter. It's both our heaviest and poppiest record.
Describe your sound: Power pop getting kicked in the balls by an aging metalhead.
Three bands you would open for: Alice in Chains, Slayer, and Spinal Tap.
Favorite venue to play: The Odeon (R.I.P.) and Peabody's.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: If chicks ever want to make out with us, anywhere is excellent.
Mayor Jackson should . . . shave! Good Lord, you're the f*cking MAYOR.
Best part of town: Anywhere near the lake, so as long as we can fish.
We'll never forget . . . when Jeff Niesel slammed our first record, then honored us with a spot on Scene's "Top 10 Worst Bands of 2000."
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . the blood of our enemies.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? American Werewolves, especially if Trevor coldcocks some drunken idiot.
American Werewolves
12 A.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website: www.americanwerewolves.com
Personnel: Trevor Moment, Tony Scambony, Brendan Moore, and Nate 68.
Your best release: We have a new disc coming out in October. It's the best one yet.
Describe your sound: Violent, '50s rock and roll, with the energy of early '80s hardcore.
Three bands you would open for: Dion, Bad Brains, and Crowd Deterrent.
I'll never forget . . . the Summer of Hate show '07. What a bloodbath.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Ask some emo scenester. We're grown men.
Your biggest influence: Doo-wop and early hardcore.
Mayor Jackson should . . . stop jocking me. We have the community at its knees.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Yes -- it sucked! I thought I was going to die. I saw a big rat swim by.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Do you really need to ask?
Mick Boogie
7 P.M., LIQUID/FUSION
Website: www.myspace.com/mickboogie.
Personnel: Commissioner of the League Crew (Cleveland's most popular DJ crew).
Your best release: Mick Boogie & Little Brother's And Justus for All. Considered a classic in underground hip-hop circles.
Describe your sound: Cross-genre musicality expressed through a hip-hop style of deejaying.
Three classic DJs you would open for: Jazzy Jeff, Funkmaster Flex, and Kid Capri.
Favorite venues to play: Anatomy and Touch Supper Club.
Mayor Jackson should . . . get a Chipotle downtown. And can we get some stores down here? Any store would be nice.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: My bed -- and I'm single now, ladies.
Your biggest influence: Jazzy Jeff. The greatest who ever did it. Humility, skill, intelligence, and showmanship -- the four best qualities a DJ can have.
Best part of town: East Fourth Street. It's the only part of downtown that gives a fuck about developing a neighborhood for its residents.
Why we need to see you: I play everything and anything, and make it sound like it was supposed to go together. If you love music, you'll love a Mick Boogie party.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? No. But I had sex in the Rock Hall.
Will Bowen
10 P.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website: www.willbowen.com.
Personnel: Will Bowen, Mikey Gould, Rufus Jones, and Sam Getz.
Your best release: The soon-to-be-released Love Is War disc, because of the growth in songwriting and the major-label-quality production.
Describe your sound: Accessible pop rock with an edge.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The Foundation Room at the House of Blues. Very classy.
Your biggest influence: Bryan Adams. He may be cheesy, but he wrote simple love songs that millions of people love to this day.
Best part of town: Although I'm an East Sider, I say Tremont for the culture and nightlife.
Cleveland's greatest band: Cactus 12, because of their amazing talent and good looks.
Why we need to see you: It's been a while since Cleveland produced a strong pop-rock band that can grow. If that's what you enjoy, come see us.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Local bands need to support each other, so I say every band will rule it equally!
Cory Branan
11 P.M., BAR FLYY
Website: www.corybranan.com.
Personnel: Just me and guitar.
Your best release: 12 Songs. It's newish.
How long have you been around? My first record, The Hell You Say, came out in 2003, but I came out in December 1974.
Describe your sound: I've heard people call it anti-folk, but it feels like folk music to me.
Two bands you would open for: Thin Lizzy, and Mudboy and the Neutrons.
Favorite venue to play: I played the Beachland once with Marshall Crenshaw. It had a kind of sock-hop feel in the best way possible.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Being from Memphis, I wouldn't know . . . yet.
Your biggest influence: John Prine. His music was the first time I ever heard country haiku.
Why we need to see you: I gots to pay the light bill.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Nope. But I lost a shoe in the Mississippi once.
Who will rule the Scene Music Festival? Roger Hoover and the Whiskeyhounds!
Clouds Forming Crowns
7:20 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.tobias-music.com
Personnel: Tim and Todd Tobias write and record all the music. Then Brian Noga, Scott Pickering, Brian Strazek, and other heroes and villains bring it to life onstage.
Describe your sound: Guitars and drums.
Three bands you would open for: Thin Lizzy, Wire, and the Smut Midgets, this crazy Dutch band from the early '70s.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Kingsbury Run.
Have you ever broken up? You can't break up with your brother.
Mayor Jackson should . . . Musicians have no business commenting on politics or religion. Have you ever talked to a musician?
Cleveland's greatest band: Too many to count, but there was a band called Shitmother back in the early '90s that killed.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Of course -- don't you?
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Coffinberry!
Coffinberry
11:40 P.M., LIQUID/FUSION
Website: www.coffinberry.net.
Personnel: Anthony Cross, Pat O'Connor, Tony Janicek, Nick Cross, and Kooky Pants.
Your best release: Our new record, God Dam Dogs, because we worked so hard on it.
Describe your sound: Power pup. Powder rock. Like sonic hedgehogs doing freak rock.
Two bands you would open for: the Dave Clark Five and the Strawberry Alarm Clock.
Favorite venue to play: Our basement or the Phantasy.
Have you ever broken up? No, but we hope to one day.
Best part of town: We like downtown, 'cause it's cool.
Cleveland's greatest band: The Mice, because their music, like Jurassic Park, is good.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? No, but we once connected our Slip 'n Slide to a friend's Crocodile Mile.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Whichever band does the best job and makes it a safe place for women.
Copperfoot
11 P.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website: www.copperfoot.com
Personnel: Jeff Boyer, Gary Boyer, Adam Constantine, Meghan Clay, and Dano.
How long have you been around? About two years.
Describe your sound: We are a rock band, with roots in country, folk, blues, and R&B -- in that order. But who isn't?
Three bands you would open for: Buddy Holly, Johnny Cash, and Joe Cocker.
Favorite place to play: Around the Corner in Lakewood.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Don't ask this question. We are all married.
Mayor Jackson should . . . do more drugs.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . You're damn right it does!
Cleveland's greatest band: Audi Badoo. My father and uncle were in it, as well as Colin Dussault's father. It makes us living legacies. No pressure.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Drummers with three arms. Guitarists and keyboardists with extra fingers. Vocalists with multiple throats. You might be on to something.
Disown
10:40 P.M., LIQUID/FUSION
Website: www.myspace.com/disown.
Personnel: Jae Rohrer, Mike Davis, Krystle Dawn, and Scott Kaczmarek.
Your best release: The Requiem of One CD is a work of art, just like Disown.
Describe your sound: Electronic industrial rock.
Three bands you would open for: A Perfect Circle, Nine Inch Nails, and Linkin Park.
Favorite venue to play: The Scene Pavilion! (aka the Plain Dealer Pavilion).
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: We like make up.
We'll never forget . . . when Outback Steakhouse confused us with Tool. We were checking out the new Tool DVD while ordering. The waitress asked if we were in a band, and we said yes.
File-sharing: godsend or the death of music? Everyone should upload our songs and spread them to the rest of the world!
Why fans need to see you: Because we're artists, and the audience is our canvas.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? They all will. Disown has faith in local music.
DoHM
7:30 P.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.dohmsound.com
Personnel: Brian Noll, Brian Pritchard, Max Dixon, Conor Heldorfer, and Levente Nagy.
Your best release: Our latest work with Ante Up Audio for the studio's upcoming Best of Cleveland Metal compilation.
Describe your sound: An aural assault that encompasses the scope of human emotions.
Three classic bands you would open for: Tool, the Deftones, and Pantera.
Favorite venue to play: Verlie's Café.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Any alley.
Your biggest influence: Filmmaker David Lynch. We strive to be his musical equivalent.
Mayor Jackson should . . . legalize gambling, prostitution, and recreational drug use.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . Miller High Life -- the champagne of beers.
File-sharing: godsend or the death of music? The suits have always been the true enemy of creativity.
Why we need to see you: So you can see how we recreate the stunts we pull on record. Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? We wouldn't be surprised if our swarthy Hungarian bass player has.
Drop Soma
12:40 A.M., LIQUID/FUSION
Website: www.myspace.com/dropsoma.
Personnel: Will Wells, Mike V., John Bennett, Jared Lees, and Ryan Germany.
Describe your sound: What hip-hop was meant to be in the first place -- organic, soulful, and real.
Three bands you would open for: The Roots, Ozomatli, and Gym Class Heroes.
Favorite venue to play: The Q -- just give us a little time.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Akron, damn it.
File-sharing: godsend or the death of music? Takes a big chip out of big acts, but great exposure for indie artists.
Cleveland's greatest band: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Devo, and Nine Inch Nails.
Mike Filly
10 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR TWO
Website: www.myspace.com/mikefilly216.
Personnel: I'm a DJ. It's just me, myself, and I.
How long have you been around? Long is the key word. Let's say I have staying power.
Describe your sound: Accessible but cutting-edge.
Three bands you would open for: The Smiths, Slowdive, and Echo & the Bunnymen.
Favorite venue to play: The Mercury Lounge.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: I have to keep that secret.
Your biggest influence: Kenny "Dope" Gonzalez of Masters at Work. The man understands groove and rhythm like no other.
Best part of town: East Side. Everything is there, and it's full of classic architecture and history.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . lychee juice or Sapphire & tonic.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Return of Simple. They are an emerging band in the area. I love them.
4 Degrees by Sunday
10:40 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.4degreesbysunday.com
Personnel: Tony Colon, Weedge, Adam Hines, and Art Koch.
Describe your sound: We could be labeled Americana pop. We've been told we sound like Sister Hazel, with a hint of Ryan Adams.
How long have you been around? Three years.
Your best release: The So Nice CD from 2006. We love the songs, recording, and production quality.
Favorite venue to play: The Jigsaw Saloon & Stage in Parma.
Mayor Jackson should . . . revitalize the Flats. Fix the potholes.
I'll never forget . . . opening for Loggins & Messina at Blossom.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The Velvet Dog.
Cleveland's greatest band: The Raspberries. They influenced so many bands, and they're in the Rock Hall.
Why we need to see your band: Our intertwining of song content and music style flat-out works. Tony's personality comes through, and his voice fits the band's sound really well.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? 4 Degrees by Sunday!
High Scarab
11 P.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR TWO
Personnel: John Crayon, DJ
Describe your sound: Low-end dubstep wobblers.
Three bands you would open for: The Pop Group, Rhythm & Sound, and the Happy Mondays (circa 1988).
Favorite venue to play: Sabers in the Flats.
Greatest record of all time: The Fall, This Nation's Saving Grace.
File-sharing: godsend or the death of music? It's only a godsend if you are a cheap cunt with a sense of entitlement.
Cleveland's greatest band: Pufftube.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Who is playing?
Roger Hoover and the Whiskeyhounds
10 P.M., BAR FLYY
Website: www.whiskeyhounds.com.
Personnel: Roger Hoover, Justin Gorski, Dave McKean, and Adam Simms.
Your best release: 2007's Jukebox Manifesto. We created a ghostly album with evocative lyrics and emotionally driving music.
Three bands you would open for: The Band, Sam Cooke, and the Clash.
Favorite venue to play: The Happy Dog for intimacy and three-hour sets; the Beachland Ballroom for letting loose with 200 of your closest friends.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Somewhere in the Metroparks, but we've sworn not to reveal the exact location.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . Cheap whiskey and malt liquor.
Mayor Jackson should . . . get more credit for trying to save a city on the brink of self-destruction.
Best part of town: The West Side Market on Saturday mornings.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Absolutely. There are amazing swim holes hidden all over Northeast Ohio.
Cleveland's greatest musician: Blues legend Robert Lockwood. He was a direct link from Cleveland to the Mississippi Delta.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Cory Branan. He crafts songs that are original and mythical.
The Jack Fords
8 P.M., BAR FLYY
Website: www.jackfords.com.
Personnel: Greg Campolieti, Chris "Elmer" Hanna, Brent Kirby, Bobby Latina, and Chris "Jimmy Jelly" Yohn.
Your best release: Bent Outta Shape. It's an honest live record.
Describe your sound: 50 percent rock and roll, 15 percent California country, 15 percent blues, 10 percent folk, 10 percent pop.
Three bands you would open for: Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones, and Guy Terrifico.
Favorite venue to play: The Beachland Ballroom. The bathroom behind the stage is convenient for all things needed.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Underneath the bridge by Hoopples.
Greatest record of all time: Bob Dylan's Highway 61 Revisited. It was a record that mixed folk, blues, and rock while changing the rules.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . Miller High Life and Jack Daniels.
Cleveland's greatest band: James Gang.
Why we need to see you: Memorable songs delivered earnestly, but different every time.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Four times: twice drunk, once sober but dared, and one time pushed.
Jugoe
12 A.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR TWO
Website: www.jugoe.com.
Personnel: Jude Goergen -- all production.
Your best release: The Rust Belt EP on Bastard Jazz. It received worldwide acclaim, so I can't complain.
How long have you been around? Deejaying for about a decade.
Describe your sound: Classic and current party music, ranging from rock to hip-hop. I stay away from current Top 40.
Three bands you would open for: Parliament, Blondie, and Prince.
Favorite venue to play: The rooftop at the Velvet Dog on Sunday nights.
Hottest pop star ever: Terry Urban. Ask him why he's hot.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The back hallway at Touch Supper Club.
I'll never forget . . . playing for 2,000 people outdoors in New York at Turntables on the Hudson.
Why we need to see you: Because there's more to Cleveland nightlife than the Top 40.
Johnny La Rock & Mush Mouth
7 P.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website: www.jlrmm.com.
Personnel: Johnny La Rock, rapper-producer; Mush Mouth, rapper-bassist; and chrismick, producer-laptop DJ.
Your best release: The Necker Cube, a self-released compilation.
Describe your sound: Old-school rap, with a new lime twist.
Three classic bands you would open for: Run-D.M.C., Wu-Tang Clan, and Yes.
Favorite venue to play: The Grog Shop and Pat's in the Flats.
Your biggest influence: Yo! MTV Raps. It made us the hip-hoppers we are today.
Mayor Jackson should . . . ban Z 107.9 from playing crappy rap.
File-sharing: godsend or the death of music? For indie dudes like us, it's a great way to expose people to our music.
Hottest pop star ever: Every New Kid on the Block except Danny. He is straight-up ugly.
Why fans need to see you: We make the kind of hip-hop that makes you feel good -- the kind of stuff you grew up with.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? That's gross -- like having to go inside Peabody's.
Andre Leon
9 P.M.,VELVET DOG, FLOOR TWO
Website: www.myspace.com/andreleone.
How long have you been around? I have been deejaying for nine years.
Describe your sound: Real house music -- soulful, deep, jazzy, funky, bumpy, jackin', dirty, and techy.
Three DJs you would open for: Mark Farina, the Sound Republic, DJ Heather.
Favorite venue to play: Home. Other than that -- Touch Supper Club.
I'll never forget . . . taking 20 pills of ecstasy and playing an after-hours gig with a lampshade on my head and no underwear. Just joking.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . absinthe and grapefruit.
Lords of the Highway
9 P.M., BAR FLYY
Website: www.lordsofthehighway.com.
Personnel: Sugar, upright bass; Mighty Jocephus, drums; Dennis A. Bell, guitar and vocals.
Your best release: The Degreaser CD. It goes best with beer and baking soda!
Describe your sound: Oversexed, beer-drenched rawk that makes you swagger like a drunk on nickel-beer night at the stadium.
Three bands you would open for: Elvis, Hank Williams, and the Misfits.
Your biggest influence: PBR. It gives us super power and instant karate skills.
We'll never forget . . . being picked up by our fans and thrown over the drum kit. Dennis split his skull open and bled everywhere. The sound man banned us for life. In response, our drummer and his brother smashed the parking meters outside the bar with their drum hardware. The doorman came out, but our drummer beat him with the hardware.
Cleveland's greatest musician: Frank Yankovic. Polka is king!
Why we need to see you: The free cocaine we dispense at our shows!
Misterbradleyp
11 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR TWO
Website: www.myspace.com/misterbradleyp.
Personnel: Brad Petty with turntables, mixer, Rane Serato Scratch Live, and busted headphones.
Your best release: My newest mix CD, soon to be released.
How long have you been around? I've been deejaying for about 11 years.
Describe your sound: Baltimore club, hip-house, indie dance rock, and '90s hip-hop.
Three bands you would open for: The Human League, New Order, Hall & Oates.
Favorite venue to play: The B-Side Liquor Lounge.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The basement in Touch Supper Club.
I'll never forget . . . ending up in the hospital with over a dozen stitches, following a wild gig at Wish (RIP). The owners took me to the ER and had a blast rolling me around in a wheelchair while I bled in a drunken stupor.
Cleveland's greatest band: James Gang, because I rock "Funk #49" in my sets.
Why we need to see you: A lot of DJs either play what they like or bad music. The DJs I roll with have brought a party vibe back to the clubs of Cleveland.
1959
9:30 P.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.myspace.com/1959band.
Personnel: Maurice Martin, Matt Tieman, Curtis Tate, Neal Campbell, Brian Robertson, and Justin Hofmann.
Describe your sound: The passion of old-school soul and the smooth sounds of jazz, mixed with the energy of rock.
Three bands you would open for: Earth, Wind & Fire, the Ohio Players, and Stevie Wonder.
Favorite venue to play: Fat Fish Blue.
Best part of town: Coventry. It's the most entertaining part of town.
We'll never forget . . . Drunk Girl. She was our first super-fan. She attended every show, the band's first year together. She was always drunk or on drugs.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . a martini at acoustic shows. A Budweiser when it's the full band.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? This will be a toss-up between two bands: 1959 and Drop Soma.
DJ Onit
10 P.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR TWO
Website: myspace.com/onit216.
How long have you been around? I've been deejaying for six years.
Describe your sound: Funk, soul, hip-hop, rock mashups, pop, house, electro, and b-more.
Three bands you would open for: Led Zeppelin, the Stooges, and Bad Brains.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The basement at Touch Supper Club.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . Jim Beam.
Cleveland's greatest band: The Dazz Band. They made "Let It Whip."
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Who cares!?!
Rambler 454
8:20 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.rambler454.com.
Personnel: Dan McCoy, Cooter, and Jesse.
Describe your sound: If it smelled, it would remind you of sawdust and grass clippings in an ancient open-air bar, with a hint of freshly poured draft beer.
Three bands you would open for: Uncle Tupelo, the Ramones, and Johnny Cash.
Favorite place to play: Nemeth's Lounge, Painesville.
Mayor Jackson should . . . rock out with his cock out, then settle a bet -- black or white?
Best part of town: The St. Clair neighborhood. Now that's Cleveland.
We'll never forget . . . summer of '05. We played the CMJ Rock Hall festival on a Saturday afternoon, then hopped in Cooter's plane and flew over the lake for a 1 a.m. show in Toronto.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . Yes, our music does sound best when drinking.
Why we need to see you: You don't need to see us. We're just blokes tripping over one another, trying to remember how the hell our songs are played.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Any band that doesn't have the number 454 in its name.
Return of Simple
11:20 P.M., VELVET DOG, FLOOR ONE
Website: http://www.returnofsimple.com.
Personnel: Rob Kovacs, Gary C. Thobaben, and Joey Scale.
Your best release: Our Saffron EP. A lot of hard work went into writing those songs.
Describe your sound: Ben Folds + Radiohead + Brian Wilson + Steve Reich = Return of Simple.
Favorite venue to play: The Beachland Ballroom.
Hottest pop star ever: Fergie is so super-hot that people still love her after that time she peed herself on stage.
Have you ever broken up? Never, unless Rob keeps acting like a giant douche.
Mayor Jackson should . . . give more grants to indie bands.
We’ll never forget . . . when we replaced our first drummer with Joey, who was our first drummer’s student at the time.
Why we need to see you: To see us play it live is to see us at our best. We’re bringing back the concept of the power trio.
Cleveland’s greatest band:This Is Exploding. Dan Price is one of the best drummers in town.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Every band is a winner in our book — but seriously, Return of Simple.
Gordon Robertson
8:40 P.M., liquid/fusion
Website: www.myspace.com/107848450.
Personnel: Solo -- guitar and vocals.
Three classic bands you would open for: Nick Drake, the Animals, and the Rolling Stones.
Favorite place to play: Edison's, Tremont.
Hottest pop star ever: Xtina. I love her juicy J.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Tony Gutowski's bed.
Mayor Jackson should . . . suck a fart. Maybe two.
Best part of town: Ohio City.
Why fans need to see you: I am really good-looking.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Yes.
Rosella
10:30 P.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR ONE
Website: www.myspace.com/rosellaband.
Personnel: Sean Barbarotta, Chris Dudas, Ian Leffel, Ben Marthey, and Chris Urminski.
Your best release: Seasons, our debut. We made and released it ourselves, right down to the artwork.
Describe your sound: Hard-edged melodic rock.
Three classic bands you would open for: Led Zeppelin, the Doors, and Black Sabbath.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Our beds.
Best part of town: Little Italy/Coventry. The combination of art, food, and music is awesome. There's so much culture in such a small area.
We'll never forget . . . the Loudonville Bike and Rib Festival. We won the battle of the bands.
Cleveland's greatest band: Ian's dad was in a band called Granicus, who signed to RCA in 1973. They are a favorite among collectors of obscure '70s hard rock.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? Disown. Too bad they're playing the same time as we are.
William Russell
12 A.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR TWO
Website: http://www.myspace.com/williamrussell216.
Your best release: "Time to Get Away," the LCD Soundsystem remix I did a while back. It got heavy blog circulation around the world and got me some nods from folks that I would have never guessed were listening.
How long have you been around? I've been deejaying for nine years or so and messing around with production for most of those years. But I just started putting stuff out last October.
Describe your sound: Bass in yo' face!
Three artists you would open for: MSTRKRFT, Justice, and Switch & Sinden.
Favorite venue to play: The basement at Touch Supper Club.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Anywhere with my Missus J.
Your biggest influence: I have a lot, so it's hard to pick just one. Daft Punk is definitely someone in terms of electronic music.
I'll never forget . . . Derrick Carter in the basement at Touch Supper Club.
Cleveland's greatest band: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony.
Ryan Humbert Band
9:40 P.M., LIQUID/FUSION
Website: www.ryanhumbert.com.
Personnel: Ryan Humbert, Emily Bates, Ben Evans, and Steve Norgrove.
Your best release: One Night Only: Acoustic Live, our new live CD/DVD. We recorded 33 songs with a nine-piece band in front of seven cameras -- all in front of 200 people at a small Akron club.
Describe your sound: An eclectic blend of Americana.
Three bands you would open for: We've been fortunate enough to open for Dave Mason, Foreigner, and Elvis Costello.
Favorite venue to play: House of Blues.
Have you ever broken up? I have yet to kick myself out of the band.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . Southern Comfort on the rocks.
Cleveland's greatest band: The Pretenders. But they are more of an Akron band. Chrissie Hynde oozes rock and roll.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? I'm not allowed to answer that in fear of violating my parole.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? The Raspberries or Unit 5.
The Suede Brothers
11:30 P.M., BLIND PIG, FLOOR ONE
Website:www.myspace.com/thesuedebrothers.
Personnel: Dylan Jones, Kevin Naughton, and Mick Varga.
Your best release: The record that's coming out in a month, because the Suede Brothers have something to prove. Plus, it's our only release.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Behind the Beachland.
Describe your sound: Sir Lord Baltimore blended with Black Sabbath and James Gang, with dashes of Son House and Jimmy Reed.
Best part of town: Tremont. A good blend of restaurants, taverns, neighborhood ambience, and music, while being close to downtown.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . Windex.
Cleveland's greatest bands: James Gang, the O'Jays, the Dead Boys, and Pere Ubu.
Why we need to see you: To experience the wall of sound produced during the Suede Brothers' live shows. It's impossible to duplicate on any media playback system.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? It was more of a thrashing about in a panicky sort of way, with flailing arms and a cacophony of hoots, cackles, and wails.
Trendy
12 A.M., BAR FLYY
Website: www.myspace.com/trendy.
Personnel: Aaron Brooks, Scott Richmond, and Jay Baskette.
Your best release: The CD to be released this fall. It's a giant leap forward.
Describe your sound: Early Queen, the Beatles, Pink Floyd, and early Bowie have a gangbang with Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine, Muse, and Beethoven.
Favorite venue to play: The House of Blues is fantastic, but we miss the Odeon.
Hottest pop star ever: Steve Buscemi. We like his teeth.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The sound of gunshots and screaming is romantic, so we like anywhere on the East Side.
Have you ever broken up? No. But we've had more personnel changes than Menudo.
Mayor Jackson should . . . vote Kucinich.
Best part of town: Lakewood and its dive bars.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . bong water.
Why we need to see you: Do you like orgasms and eargasms simultaneously?
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? They have one of those?
Terry Urban
7 P.M., LIQUID/FUSION Website: www.terryurban.com.
Personnel: Terry Urban, handsome DJ of the League Crew.
Your best release: Unbelievable: A Tribute to Biggie Smalls.
Describe your sound: I play everything from punk to gangsta rap.
Three bands you would open for: Black Sabbath, A Tribe Called Quest, and Johnny Cash.
Favorite venue to play: Friday nights at Anatomy.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Piss Alley, right next to the old May Company Building.
I'll never forget . . . I got head in the DJ booth while spinning.
File-sharing: godsend or the death of music? It's where I get all my music. Thank Satan for technology.
Cleveland's greatest band: Upstab, but I also hear the new rap group Rubber Chicken is really fresh.
Why we need to see you: I bring chicks to the club, and they get naked most of the time.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Actually, I have. I had guacamole-dick for like three weeks after that. Oh wait, maybe that was something else.
View From Everest
8 P.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website: www.viewfromeverest.com.
Personnel: Chad Armstrong, Jimmy Maler, Paul Lewis, and Jeff Harmon.
Your best release: Our new disc, Live & Learn. It shows our growth and chemistry.
Describe your sound: Top-40 office rock -- like Air Supply, but without the crust!
Three bands you would open for: U2, Oasis, and the Police.
Favorite venue to play: The Hi-Fi Concert Club.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: Edgewater Park, right?
Mayor Jackson should . . . resign and recommend a successor who will turn the local economy around -- Cleveland rocks?
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . a grande pumpkin spice latte -- decaf, nonfat, and no whip, of course.
Cleveland's greatest band: The Raspberries.
Why we need to see you: We perform all of our own stunts.
Ever swim naked in the Cuyahoga? Jeff Harmon still does!
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? View From Everest -- like a hot prom date.
Wake Hollywood
7 P.M., BAR FLYY
Website: www.myspace.com/wakehollywood.
Personnel: Evan McKeever, Kyle Wendling, Ian Struhar, and Eugene Ambler.
Your best release: The Start the Show EP. It's our only release!
Describe your sound: A mix of alternative and dance rock.
Three bands you would open for: The Cure, Weezer, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Favorite venue to play: We love playing everywhere. This city has been good to us.
Cleveland's no. 1 make-out spot: The back of our stinky van.
Have you ever broken up? No, but we've changed our name a million times.
Best part of town: Lakewood. We live there, and the bars are a tight-knit group of friends.
We'll never forget . . . being on tour and using a Taser to shock our old guitar player's privates.
Cleveland's greatest band: Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor is a genius.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? The lineup looks good. Hopefully, we can all rule together.
The Whiskey Daredevils
9 P.M., TEQUILA RANCH
Website: www.whiskeydaredevils.com.
Personnel: Dave Bowling, Bobby Lanphier, Leo P. Love, Ken Miller, and Greg Miller.
How long have you been around? We have been making the magic happen since 2004.
Describe your sound: Our no-frills rock and roll takes all the good elements of rock and weeds out crap like drum solos, angst, and stupid haircuts.
Have you ever broken up? To do what? Play weddings?
Mayor Jackson should . . . pack a suitcase and quietly slip out of town to avoid Cleveland's insurmountable problems.
Best part of town: That area of Ohio City by the West Side Market.
We'll never forget . . . our German tour this spring, when the Berlin Hells Angels came out for a show.
Your music sounds best when drinking . . . three long-neck Budweisers, poured into a funnel that has been shoved down your throat by one of the Burning River Roller Girls.
Cleveland's greatest band: The Dead Boys. If we include Akron, it's Devo.
Why we need to see you: We provide 64 percent more entertainment value than any other band you are likely to see.
Which band will rule the Scene Music Festival? We're anticipating something like Beatlemania when we hit our first note.
