R. Kelly plays the Quicken Loans Arena (2000 Prospect Ave.) Sunday, December 23, with Keyshia Cole and J. Holiday. Check out this week's Scene for a rundown of the oversexed singer's worst R&B metaphors. For our money, however, the best R. Kelly song isn't by the controversial crooner; it's by comedian Dave Chappelle. Click the pic above for a satirical serenade to Kelly's reportedly kinktastic sexual proclivities. -- D.X. Ferris
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