13 Predictions for Cleveland in 2013

Psychic Sonya looks into our future, and the verdict is...

In the year 2000 (and 13), what will Cleveland look like? Will the resurgence of construction and momentum continue forward? Will Michael Symon open 13 new restaurants and launch 13 new TV shows? Will we all be living in cardboard boxes and congregating around a fire fed by shards of wood torn from an empty Medical Mart? Who knows? Not us. But Psychic Sonya, who runs the Haunted Cleveland tours, might. Or at least she has an idea, and something more than a Magic 8 Ball with which to gander into the days and months to come. Join us in the future for a few minutes. It's warm and toasty in here and smells fainly of lilac.

Looking at your cards, what is the prognosis for the city as a whole in the next 365 days? Should we just stay inside and barricade our doors, or is it safe to go outside?

Do you want good news or bad news? One of the things at the top of the future predictions row is a lot of books, which means a lot of contemplation and rewriting. It could mean good things for education, and maybe a bump for the city in that area. It might mean trying to keep people from leaving Cleveland, keep people here, because I feel like there's a possible exodus coming. I also see something with a communications company – it could be almost a restructuring or rewiring. It could involve police and fire. Also, is a racetrack coming to town? This could be big, really big -- maybe an autoracing link. This is big business. I see a checkered flag, whether or not this is what they could be investing in bringing racing to town. It could be motorcycles or autos.

What do you see for Frank Jackson? He's in a shitstorm with the police shootings, but made exceptional progress with the Cleveland school system. What's his future look like?

There is a guy here with a scale. The scale means weighing-up. I think that the person who talks about helping the poor more will be the one that wins. Has he been known to hang out at an Italian restaurant? I don't think he's crooked. Is he a man of the people? He has to make atonement to the people of Cleveland.

How about Ed FitzGerald? A possible run for governor in the future, two years under his belt as Top Man in Cuyahoga County. What's up with his 2013?

Does he have heart issues? Does he have a lot of wrinkles on his forehead? The three of swords is here. If he's got the heart, if he can overcome whatever physical or personal heartaches are coming up in his life, then I think he'll win.

The casino was perhaps the biggest thing to happen in Cleveland last year. What's the future of gambling in town?

That's where I'm seeing this racing thing – monopolizing the gambling crowd. It's a good thing for Cleveland.

Jimmy Haslam is the new Browns owner, Joe Banner is the new CEO, Brandon Weeden is the new quarterback, Trent Richardson is the new running back, and things are sort of looking up, for once. What's happening next year for everyone's favorite football team?

I don't feel good about the Browns. Wow, I don't feel good. We have such a big fanbase, and I think no matter what, they'll be supporting the team. But I think that there's going to be a strong start and then another big flop. For Haslam, I feel like he's actually got a good head. There's a card here with a crown, and I think he has a good crown. The man holds these gold keys, and the guy on the card that holds the gold keys, people look up to him, and people are going to do that. Whether the players can perform or not, I don't know. He might be very good at what he does, but he can't control everything.

What about the economy? Are we going to be rich?

I feel if the city starts investing in education and getting people to stay here, and we promise to educate our kids, they're going to be able to keep people from moving.

We're one of the fattest, unhealthiest cities in America. Is our collective resolution and New Year's diet going to work?

This is something I see as important. We are so contaminated. I'm worried about our water. We're all generally tough, but even the American Indians knew it was tough to survive here.

Are we going to keep building things?

Maybe some wealthy people might be looking at historical places, and instead of ripping them down, enhancing them instead. There might be a restructuring of the city skyline with interesting architecture, the combination of the old and the modern, a city that's not so blah and black-and-white. Everybody likes to redecorate.

What about the Indians and the perpetual mess they always seem to make of the season?

Oh, here's a cool card. It's the ace of wands. It has this big staff, and a crazy, dark-eyed pale-skinned fellow who talks slow next to it. I don't know if he wears a red glove or a bracelet, but he uses it to accent his uniform – this man will be a big star next year. He wears something extra, and he has money in his hands. So he'll make money for the team or he'll be money well spent.

And the Cavs?

I feel really good about the Cavs. I have a three of clubs here in the future cards, which means celebration. People are raising cups up high. I see a number three. It could mean the third pick, or it could be someone called, 'Trip,' like George III.

What about our entertainment around town?

I see free entertainment to keep people downtown, like an after-work party, but people hanging out instead of going straight home. It could be something outdoors, but it will take a lot of money and be a security nightmare, but it will work. It could be in one of the poorer neighborhoods, or they could move it around.

What about the food scene?

Again, I'm seeing money pour into downtown. I'm picking up something more along the lines of a culinary school or a romantic cooking school or classes where you're taught to cook for yourself. Very interactive.

Do we stay in Hollywood's gaze? Will more big movies come film here?

I feel like they'll be targeting us. It might be part of the growth of entertainment centered in the downtown area, which keeps coming up.

Like this story?
SCENE Supporters make it possible to tell the Cleveland stories you won’t find elsewhere.
Become a supporter today.

Vince Grzegorek

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.
Scroll to read more Cleveland News articles

Join Cleveland Scene Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.