Hillary Clinton: 2 Paris Hiltons.
It’s Super Tuesday, which means voters across the nation are faced with the predicament of choosing the lesser of multiple evils. At least if you care about issues.
But if you're voting based on the only thing that truly matters – hotness – you'll find an impressive roster of, like, totally smokin' candidates. So C-Notes has developed its patented Presidential Hotness Meter, providing you with the kind of insight needed to decide who would look the prettiest during weekend retreat photo-ops at Camp David.
Ratings, quite naturally, are based on a Paris Hilton scoring system. (Five Hiltons equals a Prada endorsement).
Hillary is a total cougar. But it isn’t her looks that give the boys boners. It’s all that power! After all, Hillary’s kinda fugly. And she has that whole weird mother complex thing going – kinda like a cross between your third-grade teacher and that boss you really hate. You know, the one with all the flow charts and 17-page memos from HR. But she’s got great cheekbones and a closet full of Caroline Herrara suits, which makes up for her vague resemblance to Jack Nicholson’s Joker. Score: 2 Paris Hiltons ...