Scrappy OSU point guard Aaron Craft — the man whose face has become a compelling Jason Kipnis/Grady Sizemore hybrid — is getting married! He's pictured at right with longtime sweetheart Amber Peterson.
And before you start cooing and taking celebratory shots, know that the women of central Ohio aren't taking the news too well. I mean they're devastated. If you're on Twitter, searching "Aaron Craft" will provide an instant sampling of the drama and despair which has attended the nuptial news over the past couple of days — who knew the kid was such a campus heartthrob? — but Scene dug a little deeper.
While perusing Matt Norlander's exquisite Tweet compilation of reactions to the news, we noticed what some might recognize as a predictable trend:
That's right folks. Women are consuming ice cream by what appears to be the metric ton down in Columbus. Don't take our word for it. Have a look at the compilation below. (Norlander's original list ought to be consumed in its entirety, though it's far from comprehensive. He was quick to point out that the Tweets he gathered were merely the tip of the sadness iceberg). Ours deals exclusively with the recourse to dairy.
@CRAFTroomies PLEASE TELL AARON CRAFT THERE'S NO ICE CREAM LEFT ON CAMPUS BECAUSE 30000 GIRLS ARE EATING THEIR FEELINGS. THANKS A LOT JERK!
— Dan Chapman (@HeresDChapstick) September 9, 2013
Aaron Craft is engaged. I guess that only leaves me two options in this world. Gallons of ice cream and many many cats.
— Lexi Surratt (@LexiSurratt) September 11, 2013
Aaron Craft is engaged, who's gonna come over and eat ice cream and pizza with me until I explode?
— Lauren Emerson (@lauren_emerson) September 9, 2013
Aaron Craft is engaged so I'm just going to cry and eat ice cream until I feel better
— Ellen Williams (@EllDell64) September 9, 2013
Aaron Craft proposed to his girlfriend and there is no more hope left for me. So I'm going to go eat ice cream.
— abby fagin (@abby_fagin) September 9, 2013
BREAKING: Local Kroeger sells out of ice cream due to Aaron craft's engagement #depressedfemalebuckeyes
— Brian Ruhaak (@Bruhaak12) September 9, 2013
Eating a whole bowl of ice cream and sobbing about Aaron craft being engaged. Bye.
— Julie Merry (@juliemerry) September 9, 2013
Aaron Craft got engaged... Grabbing the ice cream now 😭😖
— Madeline Houser (@mhous13) September 9, 2013