Good afternoon, Cleveland. Here's some stuff to read while you turn Jesus toward the wall because you think might get lucky tonight.
— "The total value of the two bottles of vodka was $7.98." You're eying the wrong score, my thirsty friend. (WOIO)
— "The thief turned a statue of the Virgin Mary to face the wall during the break-in, the report stated." Ironically enough, the thief stole a bottle of wine. (Chronicle Telegram)
— "The only Halloween-related events held at the Club, per the website, involved trick-or-treating on October 21 and pumpkin carving three days later." This is what reporting on Peyton Hillis has come down to. (WFNY)