Boarding Pass, Please

Rules For Joining The CSU Bandwagon

Bandwagon time for Cleveland State. I'm allowed on because I said so. I'm also declaring myself arbiter for the mad masses who want to jump on too. Basically, everyone's welcome - the more the merrier. But there are some special cases that deserve specific consideration.

¥ You smoked crack with Kevin Mackey? YES

¥ You hooked up with a CSU coed at Becky's? YES

¥ You hooked up with a 40-year-old "coed" at Becky's? NO

¥ You once stayed at the Holiday Inn that now serves as a dorm? YES

¥ You once dated a guy who had a CSU T-shirt that you would wear and you gave it back after breaking up? NO

¥ You kept it? YES

¥ You married that guy but made him throw out the shirt because it had too many holes? HELL NO

¥ You know the highest attendance for a game came when the Fab Five visited Cleveland in 1991? YES

¥ You like Rascal House pizza? NO

¥ You were arrested for urinating outside Rascal House after a concert at Peabody's? YES

¥ If you just read Hagar the Horrible? NO

¥ If you know Helga joined him as a mascot for a short time? YES

¥ If you have actually taken part in the pillage and plunder of a Northern European town? YES

¥ You robbed C.C. Sabathia? YES

¥ You knew Tim Russert was an alum before he died? YES

¥ÊYou have any vague idea where CSU is located? YES (Acceptable answers: "By that one homeless shelter," "On St. Clair somewhere," "Ohio."

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