Cleveland Declares, for Billionth Time, that 'Excitement and Anticipation Surround' Upcoming Sporting Event

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

Members of the Cleveland media received Tuesday, as we often do, a press release from the Mayor's Office. The purpose of the release was to publicize rules and regulations for parking and tailgating at the upcoming Browns preseason opener against the team from Washington. No alcohol is permitted in the Muni Lot, to take one example.

But the title of this announcement, and the subject line of the email, is one that Scene has come to regard as emblematic of the Frank Jackson administration's torpor. In fact it gives us hives.

"Excitement and Anticipation Surround Cleveland Browns Thursday Night Preseason Opener," the email reads.

Seems harmless, right? The fact that "excitement and anticipation" ostensibly "surround" an upcoming sporting event doesn't really mean much. It's just bad promotional language, a subject line to dress up the delivery of reminders and updates about parking and traffic.

But in the hands of the Mayor's Office, the badness of this promotional language is compounded by its persistent an unaltered usage. Excitement and anticipation always surround upcoming sporting events, and always in that order. Every time we see one of these emails, we're driven to violent exhortations.

Both the imprecision of the word "surround" in this context and the vacuousness of the declaration in template form are infuriating. Did "excitement and anticipation" really surround the Browns preseason opener after the 0-16 season? Was there maybe some extra hope involved that year? Even some trepidation? Anything????

Nope! Just the same old "excitement and anticipation." To us, this robot language is illustrative of the manner in which tasks are accomplished and information is packaged and disseminated under Jackson.

Here's just a quick sampling from my email archive. Many more such emails are no doubt lost to history. Look at how meaningless the very concepts of "excitement" and "anticipation" become when repeated thus:

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

click to enlarge CITY OF CLEVELAND, OFFICE OF THE MAYOR
City of Cleveland, Office of the Mayor

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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About The Author

Sam Allard

Sam Allard is the Senior Writer at Scene, in which capacity he covers politics and power and writes about movies when time permits. He's a graduate of the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University and the NEOMFA at Cleveland State. Prior to joining Scene, he was encamped in Sarajevo, Bosnia, on an...
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