Dead Catholic Churches Becoming Greenhouses

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For those who have wondered what will become of all the beautiful old churches mothballed during the Catholic Diocese of Cleveland’s recent contraction, one Jesus-approved answer has emerged.

The diocese is set to announce that the former St. George Lithuanian Parish at East 65th and Superior will be rechristened “Community Greenhouse Partners,” yet another installment in the growing movement to return Cleveland to a pre-industrial village of hunter-gatherers.

“The Bishop has signed off on it, saying this is a reputable use,” says spokesman Bob Tayek. “We’re gratified that we have a buyer for the property that fits the criteria we’ve established. The new owner would be there to benefit the whole neighborhood.”

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