Dick Feagler: LeBron James is a Queer-Bait

Today’s subject: LeBron’s sprained finger I was talking to the guys at the coffee shop, and we all agree that LeBron James is a cupcake, a swisher, a queer-bait. Back in my day, that’s what we called any guy who didn’t show up for work when he had a sprained finger. You’d be too embarrassed to even have a sprained finger. It’s practically like getting your period. If we had a sprained finger, we’d stick it in a grinder to make it look better, so the guys wouldn’t razz you. Or maybe we’d pour some gasoline on it and set it on fire. Except back in my day, you had to walk 12 miles to the store to get some gasoline, and you didn’t have any money to buy it anyways. Those were the days when good old Americans made the gasoline, not like these towel heads we have today. Back in my day, the only people who put towels on their heads were ladies who just got outta the shower. And they were classy broads, not like these trixies we have today… This has been another moment of insightful thoughts on America, courtesy of Dick Feagler. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming…
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