E-mailed from the deepest regions of hell: press release announcing Wal-Mart/Time Warner partnership

A Clear Channel spokesman laments not being included in the Most Evil Press Release Ever: "I thought we were boys."
Not sure how we got on this evil of a e-mailing list — we were positive nobody saw us drowning that hobo in Lake Erie — but we just received a press release that scalded our hard drive. “Time Warner Cable Teams Up With Wal-Mart” was its title, sparking fearful thoughts of a merger, and conjuring visions of an apocalyptic hell featuring $3.99 automatic shotguns, a Wal-Warner in every airport, and Rush Limbaugh as president. Then we read the next line and realized that it wasn’t a merger, only a partnership that means you can subscribe for Time Warner broadband and cable at Northeast Ohio Wal-Marts. Still, these evil guys should be more careful with their language. ...
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