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I wear prescription glasses. Anyone with similar eyesight impairment knows that there is one of three ways to get your eyes some shade if you eschew contacts but still desire to see the world with non-blurry edges.

There are the gigantic "sunglasses" that wrap around your glasses. Horrible. Old men wear these. So might 10-year-olds who want to pretend to be Cyclops from X-Men. These plastic sheaths large enough to replace a car windshield will also prevent you from getting laid.

Then there's the clip-on sunglasses option. Problem here is that you lose the attachment. And if you don't lose it, you don't really want to carry around a little pouch so that you can clip it on if the sun glare hits you.

(This is not Vince.)
  • (This is not Vince.)
Then there's transition lenses. Normal glasses inside, sunglasses outside. Wonderful invention.

Here's the thing. The FBI in Ohio is moving towards asking bank customers to be free of sunglasses, as well as hoodie sweatshirts and hats — the requisite bank robber uniform.

MILFORD, Ohio (AP) - More bank customers in Ohio will be asked not to wear hooded sweat shirts, sunglasses and hats as police join the FBI in urging people to avoid clothing items that fit a robber's profile.

The FBI is encouraging police near Milford to work with financial institutions in posting signs about the clothing advisory, which federal agents credit with reducing robberies.

When I have to take off my transition lens glasses in the future, and when I write down that I need to withdraw $100,000 from an account that isn't mine — since I can't see a damn thing without my glasses — I hope everyone understands. Just sayin'. — Vince Grzegorek

About The Author

Vince Grzegorek

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.
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