Football, Onion-style

While you were busy inhaling turkey, the dedicated reporters at the world's funniest newspaper, The Onion, published their own take on Ohio's infamous football rivalry. Under the all-too accurate headline, "Ohio State Defeats Michigan 42-39 In Ultimately Meaningless Game," the paper skewered all our dreams of grandeur. Highlights include a fake sound bite from Coach Jim Tressel: "I mean, come on—we could have lined up in alphabetical order in the end zone dressed in nothing but helmets and socks and whacked off for 60 minutes, and the BCS would still send us to the Tostitos Championship Game," Tressel told the assembled reporters." -- Lisa Rab
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