Indians re-sign Fausto Carmona, striking fear in the hearts of midges everywhere

Having not listened to the radio or read any news before heading to the Indians 3 p.m. press conference today, I was hoping it was either an announcement that Jason Michaels and David Dellucci had been genetically and surgically combined to form a complete baseball player – sort of like the reverse of Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear Stuck On You -- or that I had called up from the minors to be the Indians' official clubhouse beer taster, a duty I would have embraced fully and honorably, presuming you think it's honorable to stuff Budweisers in your socks. Turns out, it was something even better. Fausto Carmona is going to be in Cleveland for a long, long time. ...