Mayor Longo Digs a Hole

Garfield Heights Mayor Tom Longo needed a quick explanation after Scene uncovered that his pet project, the City View shopping center, had been built on top a festering mound of toxic waste ["Tomb With A View," January 10]. So he went to his pet newspaper, The Neighborhood News, where reporters respectfully refer to him as "Thomas J. Longo." Yet absent any good argument, Longo pleaded stupidity. "It's such a convoluted article," Longo is quoted saying in the front-page rebuttal. "I don't know how to approach it." Garfield Heights Councilman Joe Suster also chimed in, saying that he's not worried one bit, and still visits City View regularly. Suster proceeded to show off his cool new abilities to vaporize objects with his saliva and carry on conversations with an identical twin that started growing out of his ass last week. -- Jared Klaus
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