Miami Fans Need Pointers, LeBron Not Getting Love

Wait, why arent you guys at the Heat game?
  • Wait, why aren't you guys at the Heat game?

This isn’t going to come as any surprise to your ice-bound Midwestern heart, but Miami sports fans suck. The worldwide basketball fandom has eyeballs on South Beach and the Miami Tepid can barely fill American Airlines Arena this early into the season. Must be something about the seasonless climate or palm-tree languor that poisons the Floridian’s fervor. Or the team’s limp 6-4 start.

Whatever the reason, Tepid fans ain’t showing up for the games, or when they do, they roll in late and bounce out early. To combat this apparent indifference, the Tepid’s PR machine is trying to hand-hold South Beachers on the finer points of appreciation; they’ve concocted this helpful how-to, urging fans to “Fan Up.” Seriously. We're not making this up.

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