More Fun From John Boehner's "America Speaking Out" Project

Dont dismiss that Lady Gaga dismemberment idea without listening first.
  • "Don't dismiss that Lady Gaga dismemberment idea without listening first."

Last week, House Minority Leader John Boehner of Ohio unveiled a brilliant idea that has gone tragically and predictably awry: an interactive website sponsored by Republican congressional leadership called It encourages everyone — that would be you — to post ideas for a “new policy agenda.”

“It is our hope the active engagement of the American people will produce a robust debate that will aid in the construction of a new American agenda,” the site greets visitors.

“This is a new venue for us to listen to you. So Speak Out.” And speak out the American people did. Behold, a sampling of their wisdom:

“If you were serious about conservation, you would outlaw all of the drive-thru service windows. The only exception would be the Beer Barn, where the girls in outfits rivaling those of NFL cheerleaders climb ladders to retrieve 12-packs.”

“Sometimes when I get to the bottom of the yogurt cup, the shape makes it harder to get the last bites. I tried using both a spoon and a fork, with some luck. I think Yoplait should redesign their package so it’s easier to get to the bottom of the yogurt.”

“Dismember Lady Gaga and sell her bones and organs to the liberals who love her.”

One day after the site was launched, congressional leaders returned to their default practice of not giving a rat’s ass what American people think.

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About The Author

Vince Grzegorek

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.
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