Oh the Simpler Days, When Jimmy Dimora was the Innocent Victim of a Karl Rove-Helmed Political Conspiracy

We got you Jimmy, we got you good.
  • "We got you Jimmy, we got you good."

It was the perfect plan. As the country edged closer to the pivotal 2008 presidential election, Republican-puppet master Karl Rove concocted a scheme to throw off the Democrats' chances at the polls: He'd direct then-Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to sic the Department of Justice on local Democratic officials in swing states, opening frivolous corruption investigations into the innocent politician while strategically leaking the trumped-up details to hungry right-leaning media outlets, who in turn would misreport and inflate the unproven accusations until a cloud of corruption settled around the party, an umbrage that would either keep disgusted voters home on election day or drive the undecided into the waiting hands of the honest and apple pie GOP, therefore locking in the needed electoral college votes and securing the presidency for the conservative agenda for yet another four years. Game, set, match.

At least, that's what Jimmy said.

Opening arguments began yesterday in former-Cuyahoga County Commissioner Jimmy Dimora's corruption trial. No doubt, as the trial drags on, you’ll hear all the ins and outs of both the prosecution’s and defense’s arguments. If Dimora's attorney's opening remarks are any indication, it looks like they're going to work to convince jurors that Dimora was only acting out of friendship when he arranged jobs and contracts. Which is a pretty sensible line of defense . . .

. . . too sensible, if you ask us. Now with all this slippery argument and legal wiggling, we’re nostalgic for the simpler days when Dimora maintained he was the innocent victim of a vast, tangled political conspiracy.

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