Patti Beef

One day before announcing he would personally handle the case against accused cop killer Quisi Bryan, Cuyahoga County Prosecutor William D. Mason was queasy from gratuitous self-promotion: Mason made the a.m. rounds to three July 4 parades, jockeying with scores of Northeast Ohio politicos -- namely county commissioners Tim McCormack and Jimmy Dimora -- for prime spots near the front of the processions. The prosecutor, borrowing vehicles offered by campaign supporters, lost valuable time when his '37 Ford gave out a quarter-mile into the West Park leg. "It died, so we just pushed it to the side of the road and kept going," Mason said of the campaign-trail casualty. The Ford was left for dead, and Mason recovered to make the staggered parade starts at both Lakewood and Olmsted Township. "Shame on me; I never even called to ask what happened."

Councilman Joe Cimperman's "See How Far Will He Run?" fund-raising push is racking up a considerable tally. The 30-year-old councilman, whom many eye as a mayoral candidate as early as 2001, took in a kingly $30,000 with a promotion at Johnny's Downtown last month, the most successful fund-raiser of the councilman's young career. Cash flow aside, Cimperman continues to downplay the notion of an imminent run for the mayor's office. "I'm just worried about making sure all the potholes are filled this summer." And clearing away dead Fords?

Patti Smith fans have long counted on unannounced post-show appearances, where the outspoken artist mingles, signs autographs, and generally spreads her message of revolution to the masses. But last week at the Odeon, after Smith's first Cleveland show in more than 20 years, the crowd was given the boot immediately after the concert, squelching any chance to rub elbows. There's no Odeon curfew, but "once the show's over, the show's over," says Belkin Productions' Dan Kemer, who says Smith didn't forewarn him of any meet-and-greet plans. Smith gave a rousing rendition of her 1988 anthem "The People Have the Power." She might want to rename it "The Bouncers Have the Power."