Power Rankings

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A weekly roundup of the top newsmakers in town.

1. Clark Kent: Superman’s alter-ego quits the Daily Planet in a huff and bemoans the state of modern journalism. Will now blog full-time before transitioning into public relations.

2. Brazen Thieves: Two weeks after someone stole an RTA bus, someone else (presumably) stole the Dim & Den Sum food truck. Look for the Free Stamp to go missing sometime in November.

3. Mike Polensek: The Councilman sets a record as the longest-serving elected official in Cleveland history. Councilman Joe Cimperman congratulates him with a record-setting Twitter rant, some of it in English.

4. St. Ignatius/ St. Edward: The Holy War draws national attention as the nationally ranked Wildcats take on the second-ranked (in Ohio) Eagles. Both schools remain irreducibly annoying to the rest of NEO.

5. Paul Ryan: The GOP VP nominee mistakes Colt McCoy for Brandon Weeden while visiting the Browns training facility. Apologizes for the mistake before congratulating Mike Holmgren on many years of continued success in Cleveland.

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