Pro Tip For Criminals: Don't Try And Sell Stolen Goods To the Person You Stole Them From

Robert Bumpus never read this book.
  • Robert Bumpus never read this book.

An ambitious, workaday thief in Akron thought he had a score when he nicked a laptop from an unlocked car. No one caught him in the act, so the first step in achieving a successful criminal endeavor was completed. Robert J. Bumpus Jr. was on his way, yes sir.

All he had left to do was unload the stolen computer for some cash and he would be on his merry way. With dreams of buying some flowers for the missus, or perhaps stashing away some money in his 401k (also known as the old pretzel jar on top of his fridge), our young would-be hero was patrolling the streets of Akron when he found a man on the street corner.

Bumpus approached the young male and offered to show him his wares.

The young man looked at the computer and realized it looked exactly like the computer he had left in his car. After dispatching a friend to his car to verify that his computer was, in fact, stolen from his car, he called police and Bumpus was arrested. Fairytale over.


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Vince Grzegorek

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.
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